A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 07 (seven) years. I love my wife but sex has gotten boring. Don't get me wrong, if SHE would want to do it like we used to it would not be boring for me.I always try to 'get it going' the "old way" but she just makes me not want to do anything...Here is a list of the stuff she says.1. Ow, my arm/hair/head/leg/elbow/nose/etc2. You're taking too long3. Come on, can you cum already? (which makes me go limp)Also, she ALWAYS cums and she will proudly say that. In about 5 minutes I can manage to make her cum, since after being together so long, I know the spot, so it is easy...Not trying to be "Mr. Macho", just saying, I know HER spot...But when it is time for me to finish after she does her orgasm dance (which I like, when her whole body shakes and she doesn't want me to touch her for 2 minutes)She just gets 'bored'....Then tells me to hurry, and that just makes me not want anything.It really is boring. Also when she does oral on me now, she kind of lays down on her side and wants me to lay down, but up higher, and she lays there like it is a sleeping position, but to give oral...I don't even know how to explain how lazy and boring it is...If she would let us, I would go back to the fun sex. It isn't me, I work out, I stay in shape, I do everything I can...She even is the one that wants sex sometimes and says "Can you be fast though?"...Uhhhggg, THAT ALONE makes me 'out of the mood'.I am not really asking a question I guess, but trying to see if other people go through this. It is horrible, and leaves me to looking at porn, which makes her mad...I'm between a rock and a hard place, literally...Anyway, thanks for any advice.
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limp, orgasm, porn Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2015): I know it's fun to have sex with a turned-on woman, but, how about if you get her partway there, and then have intercourse? Maybe you could orgasm together? Or, could you help her have another orgasm after intercourse so she has something to look forward to if she doesn't come during it?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2015): Its the degree of contempt that irritates me in the way youve expressed your problem but after a lot of thought Ive realised that it takes courage to put your problem into clear words as you have.Im sure that the fact that your wife can make you go limp must be very worrying and a bit confusing as you love her and do what you can to appear attractive to her, but porn, although it may reduce your frustration temporarily ,is not the answer and you are right to think things are going off track. Porn is not real love or real sex..it is a load of glorified,cinematically titillating activity, with a lot of oil sprayed at the camera to portray cumming and a whole lot of moaning and so on..but going limp is quite a downer and witholds your longed for expression of love to her. Unfortunately i have known people with your problem to go to the doctors and ask for a check up, just to rule out prostate cancer because it does have a similar effect on a man..doctors are very kind to people who discuss this type of problem and they understand the courage it took to get you there and will arrange for you to get medical help and treatment if needed. . perhaps it is better not to mention the porn addiction though, just emphasise how much you love and cherish your wife and how you wouldnt want to lose her over this situation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2015): Have you thought about doing a course or holiday that has a sexual nature? I'm not talking about swinging here but learning new techniques together in a informal yet formal setting can really help reignite things and feels more romantic too like you're investing in the future. Helps you reconnect on a deeper level. The fact you care enough to post on here means you haven't given up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015): More information is required . Do you have kids ? Who does the majority of care for them ? Do you use porn? If so how does she feel about it?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 May 2015):
 I think she is either bored with the sex. She just wants it over with. Did she have kids? That can also make a woman less interested in sex (as sex leads to kids and she might not WANT another one right now).
I can tell you this, having a selfish sexual partner makes sex a chore. You say you "know" her spot, so is it the SAME over and over?
Or maybe don't try and initiate constantly. Maybe pull back a bit, just take a few weeks with NO sex, no initiation. Just brush her arm lightly, kiss her on the neck and walk away. TURN her on but don't try and have sex. See if it makes a difference.
And.. TALK to her. LET her verbalize what's UP with her.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 May 2015):
 You know what, I don't like it when men lie down expecting a blow job. Why can't they go on their knees so the blood flows there quicker? But, I do it anyways and try to enjoy it.
You haven't mentioned you cumming at all. You have to express to her that you feel neglected and it's all about her, and on her terms.
Is she working long hours and has the commute also made her bored of life in general? Do you have children?
I am sure other people have gone through worse, but that doesn't mean you don't have a right to complain. Can you ask her why she doesn't seem to care about your pleasure anymore?
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