A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife's mother died; she is falling apart and won't accept aid from me and the kids. Now I'm a doctor and busy ALL the time, now I love my kids but I cant earn a living and look after 4 kids and try to help my wife--I love her with all my heart and I can't bear to watch her suffer like this. How do I help her through this? Please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bemused  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 Hi there.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. In your post you do not mention when your wife's mother passed away but I would suspect it would be recently. I am also suspecting that your wife is of a senstive nature and this has gutted her. You also mention that you are feeling overwhelmed by trying to be a caregiver here and your wife is a 'bit out at sea' right now. I agree with the other posts that here that your wife is going through the normal(and painful) stages of bereavement and it could be the extra responsabilites of running the home are too much for her....at this time. You mention you are busy but could you be a little less busy and find sometime to take your wife away even for a weekend. The change might agree with her. Resist the impulse to ask her to 'get over it' as people grieve at their own pace and way.It cannot be rushed. Antidepressants are an option. A friend of mine got a perscription from a naturalpathic doctor and mentioned that they were less addictive and they really helped. My thoughts are with you. I hope I have helped..just a little.
A
female
reader, yellowdaffodil  +, writes (4 July 2007):
What type of doctor are you? PhD, M.D., D.O.? With my medical training grief for 6 months after a loss can be natural. However, during that time antidepressants may help although I have less confidence in them than I used to. There are so many of them it may take several tries to find the one that works. Support groups are helpful. Walking with a friend or a dog is therapeutic. Girlfriends provide another form of support that husbands and children cannot. If she is so depressed she cannot get out of bed, she probably needs medications/counseling. Try to find a physician she is willing to visit and let yourself just be her husband and the father of her children.
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 Hi, My condolences to you and your wife. You need to understand that this is a very hard time for you wife. The only thing that you can do is give your wife the support, care & love that she needs in abundance. She needs time to come to terms with her loss. Ask a family member to help you out with the kids. All your wife needs is some time. You can also suggest that she sees a psychologist or a seeks professional care as she needs to speak to someone if she can't spreak to you. Make sure that she eats and doesb't bottle things up, she needs to speak everything out .
Good luck,Be strong & supportive for her.
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