A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife has totally lost sex drive. She is healthy, just 40 and a fit gourgeous babe. Yes we have 3 kids that drain energy, but still we should have a sex live,no? We had amazing sex the years before our kids came… no silence, just silence - it’s been 9 month since we last had sex Any sticks, candles or other ideas to relight the ???!?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2023): We all want to be desired, don't we? We all want to have a fantastic sex life, right? But I think that at the essense of it, our genes want us to reproduce. After reproduction is complete, the hormones in many of us tamp down desire. Sometimes we also don't continue to fance sex with the person that we discuss bills and fixing the dishwasher with. It's sad, it's stressful, but I do think it's life and it's more common than you would think. After all, I am in a loving, warm, wonderful but sexless relationship myself.It's not easy. You could discuss your concerns and explore the idea of an open relationship if things don't improve (that alone is not easy in many ways because it can be hard to find willing partners who don't want to get into complicated entanglements).I am just sharing a few thoughts. I wish I had some easy answers for you. I think having children and getting older it goes beyond stress and hormones are affected. Bonding hormones are very different from the hormones and feelings that stoke desire.If you are committed to making things work, maybe think about how you could try to stoke desire in her again?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2023): Are you fit, healthy and hygienic? Does she still find you attractive? She may just be exhausted. Can you get a babysitter and go on a date together, just the two of you, once a fortnight to give her a break and the two of you some time to bond. Instead of trying to shag her, have you offered her a massage, a bath together, or some other form of intimacy to get her in the mood? Are you using contraception? She might want to avoid getting pregnant again.
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