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My wife has health problems and is totally dependent on me..I feel trapped! Any advice?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, *uarky writes:

ok so i'm 39 and have been married for 7 years and have a 15 year old step daughter. we've had our share of ups and downs. thing is because of health and mental health issues with my wife, she's completely dependant on me and i feel trapped and i'm not sure i love her or ever did . i suspect that we'd carry on like this forever but somethings happened recently which has made me look at what we have. in short, it's a married woman at work with a 3 year old who's said she's in a loveless marriage. it's unlikely we'll ever get together - and won't have an affair as we both want more than that. it's cutting us both up pretty badly... help!

View related questions: affair, at work, married woman, trapped

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A male reader, quarky United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2007):

quarky is verified as being by the original poster of the question

quarky agony auntthanks for your thoughts- not that easy to get time to myself tho-only time i really get is on the bus to work, when i do the shopping or in the bath! couple of weeks ago i went out for a drink with the lads after work and after 45 mins i had 15 missed calls and 6 voicemails...even when i do get the limited time to think, it comes back to the same thing- i dont wanna be here. the interest by the other woman at work is secondary as i think she's just made me realise how i've changed and i dont like it- friends and family have noticed too.

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A male reader, Dazzerg United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2007):

Dazzerg agony auntI think the real issue here is that you need to find some way of getting some time out of caring for your wife. It sounds to me like you have compassion fatigue. I wouldn't blame yourself too much for maybe wandering a little.

If you take time out for yourself then I think you may find that your feelings will become a little clearer. At the moment you are just reacting to the pressure of having this constant demand on you and your feelings about your wife as a person are bound to be clouded by that.

Hope that helps and good luck.

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