A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for more than 20 years and have had to move to another state for employment reasons. I recently found out that my wife has been having an affair on an emotional level with my ex neighbour. It has been mainly by email and letters with the offer from my wife for him to visit her sometime. I confronted her about this and she said she would end the relationship but I am not sure. She said that she connected with him on an emotional level and that she did love him but says she loves me more. Should I end this? Should I tell his partner? I am not sure what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2014): Although brown wolf and I have disagree on some topics (mainly porn) I have to say that his answer below is one of the most honest and well deeply understanding ones I have read. As a woman who is kind of in a similar situation at the moment and left her husband I can tell you that not a day goes by that I don't wish my ex (who tells me he loves me and wants me back) wouldn't just show me that more than just wanting a wife he actually wants ME and is attracted to ME not just having a wife
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (10 December 2014):
 Why are you even thinking of ending your marriage when YOU haven't done YOUR job??? If YOU don't look after your wife's needs then someone else will do it for you.People are so quick to get devoice when they are screwing up their own marriages rather than fixing the problem.Go and find out what you are NOT GIVING your wife, and satisfy all her needs. In other words...treat her the way your would want her to treat you. Give her everything you can not buy in a store. First item is....LOVE.You never make it easy for someone else to take your place. You love her everyday...all day. Words mean little if there is no action to back it up. Show here why you married her, why you chased after her, why you said you will spend the rest of your life with her.You did not go through all that just to hand her over to someone else right??? This is between you and your wife. Leave dude out of it, and focus on what you need to do. Jealousy has no place in any relationship.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (10 December 2014):
You could start by finding a way no be with her... She's probably lonely.
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A
female
reader, Jennygirl +, writes (10 December 2014):
I can tell you when a woman is in a happy relationship, she does NOT seek emotional bonds with another man. The only reason why she would, is that there is something missing in your marriage. She does not feel connected to you as she used to. If it's an emotional affair, she probably is not getting the kind of attention she needs from you, so she is seeking it elsewhere. So, you need to ask yourself this, and be honest, has things between you and your wife changed? Have you two been caught up in work, or something else that is taking quality alone time away from you two? With everything that goes on in life, it can be an easy thing to do and not even realize that you guys are not spending real quality time together. Like going on romantic dates, complementing each other, showing each other lots of affection, taking time out just for you two. I am not condoning what she is doing, she should have come to you first if she feels there was a problem, but she didn't and you found out. So, before you think of ending it with her, ask yourself the questions above and to answer them honestly, and there lies the answer you need.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2014): I'm not defending your wife. But, there must be a reason for her to act teh way she does. Maybe, even though she loves you more, she's not quite happy in your relationship. How happy are you? Maybe ther's some space for improvement. WHat she did is not nice... but I don't think going on a vengeance spree would solve anything.What good could come out of you telling this neighbor's partner?Instead, if you really love your wife, us ethat energy to see ho wyou can improve your relationship.If not... well you can always chose to leave her. Although, I think this would only be an excuse and that there was something deeper wrong with your relationship in the first place.
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