A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have been married 25 years and have three children She cheated on me about three years ago with a very close friend of mine. I had noticed that a couple of times she had gone out and did not come back till late and also very early in the morning.I had asked her if she was seeing someone and of course she denied it. She finally woke me up one morning to confess to me that she indeed cheated on me and was seeing my friend for about six months.My feelings were very hurt and I don't go by one day feeling really hurt and my mind just keeps flashing scenes of my wife and myfriend together. My heart aches every day and sleepless nites.She has asked for forgiveness which I have accepted but as a new day dawns, it comes with more questions of how it may have happened and why it happened.Could someone help me and if there is some place where I could get counselling to get over these feelings and move on starting a fesh with our marriage.
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affair, cheated on me, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Go to the movie FIREPROOF soon. It is out right now. Go buy the book LOVE DARE at a book store. If you want to do a couple study, which has a section on infidelity get the FIREPROOF Couples kit at a Christian book store.
Also Marriage Builders is a great site for couples who are going through what you are going through.
Growthtrac is also another site that is good for making marriage positive.
Good Luck
I almost had an fling with my husbands friend.
Came home and promptly told him about it. Told him that it needed to be said so that I could stop obsessing over him and be accountble.
Later, he told me that he wished that I didn't tell him. I still don't think he has talked to his friend. I have had no contact at all.
I guess I want trust, openess, and honesty and maybe he doesn't. Now I question him and why he would say such a stupid thing. As if, he has..... Secrets.
We are working on it.
Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Hi
all you need to do is decide between these options.
clean slate ,let it all go, and move on and trust and CHOOSE to be happy. Start tommorow like you both just met and love again.
Or dwell on the PAST let all the questions chew you up, mistrust and unforgivness will make you stagnant and will certainly finish off your relationship.
You have the power to heal yourself, it all depends on you! not your wife or the past. Only the moment matters now because that is where you are and the future depends on that. What do you want?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 October 2008):
 I think marriage counseling is an excellent idea, it will answer many of your question and point your marriage in the right direction.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Time heals all wounds, but leaves a scar. Forgiving her is the 1st step to healing. But she has to understand it's going to be awhile before you trust her again...
Her confession tells me she wants a real marriage with you and no secrets...
Just remember, you're the love of her life, and she would erase it all if she could.
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