A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have been in a married to the same woman for a few years now. Before I met my wife I had about thirty girl friends. Even though I had so many girl friends I only had sex with two of them. I was looking for a relationship and not a booty call. My wife is constantly making comments about how many girls I have been with. She has only had two boyfriends before me. I don't say anything to her about her ex boyfriends ever or try to make her feel bad for having sex with someone else. She had a child with one of them and I get along just fine with the guy and her son. On the other hand I have a daughter and she is so rude to my daughter and to her mother that she embarrasses me. We got into a big fight over the way she treats my daughter. I am just glad she doesn't live with us. Her behaviour is uncalled for and she is extremely jealous. How can I get her to stop making her comments and quit acting so jealous? She is in her forties so I think she is too old to be acting like this.
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booty call, her ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (22 March 2010):
How old is your daughter? Give an example of what rude stuff your wife says to her.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 March 2010):
 You need to communicate to her that even if she does not like your daughter, she should at least be civil enough to her and not treat her in a contempt way.
If she does not heed your advice, there is only one way to deal with it, that is to leave her.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 March 2010):
 Tell her to knock it off and shape up. If she needs some therapy then fine, tell her she should go get some, but in the meantime if she keeps up with the bad manners you're out of there. Her behavior is totally unacceptable. And if she's 40+, you are right, she should know better.
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A
female
reader, VictoriaK +, writes (22 March 2010):
 The only think I have to say is this: If anyone, be it family, or otherwise treated my son or daughter badly, I would be gone. There is no excuse for your wife, much less any other person on this planet to be mean to a child. It is uncalled for, and it may lead to damaging affects on your daughter. Don't let anyone hurt your most precious gift, your daughter.
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A
female
reader, Scoma +, writes (22 March 2010):
 Hi, I have the same problem but I am the wife an my husband is rude to my children from a previous marriage. My daughter is 19 and my son is 14. I think it is a form of insecurity and in the case of my husband he is rude to be rude. He pouts, gives me the silent treatment, and withdraws love and affection to me. It is a form of abuse.
What I do about it is set boundaries and stick to them as if he was a child and stepped out of line. I tell my children to not behave the way he is behaving.
As for intimacy, I can't mention past relationships it stirs his insecurity. My ex husband and I finally have worked it out and do not argue. Because my ex and I have a positive working relationship, he is insecure.
Bottom line my spouse is insecure and mean to be manipulative. Maybe your wife is the same.
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A
female
reader, Entirely Unique  +, writes (22 March 2010):
 I completely agree, this kind of behaviour is childish and really uncalled for.
You need to speak to her, get her to see and understand that if you can accept her past she has to accept yours, your daughter hasn't done anything wrong and shouldn't be put into a position like this with someone that's mean't to love her Dad.
You have to find a way to make her see that its not one rule for her and another for you and try to get her to stop and think about how she would feel if you was behaving and treating her son and ex the same way.
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