A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Need help! Don't know what to do. I married this woman. We met at college and she chased me. We went out and then married twelve years later. In between I kept moving out or taking jobs away but I always ended up coming back to her and she would always take me back. Then we bought a house together but then I took my dream job abroad. She sold the house and gave up her career to follow me. But only a few months after arriving she left me, saying I did not talk to her or make love to her anymore. But I was really stressed in my job. I begged her not to go but she went. Anyway that was like 10 years ago. I gave up my job and came back to the UK and changed my life and got a place of my own and ever since we have been on off and living together and splitting about five times. She has a breakdown or is homeless and I help or i have a breakdown and am homeless and she helps and it always ends with us back togther. In between we both have had other lovers but I got her back when it looked like one was serious for her and i don't think she has forgiven me, plus he is still after her and she still talks to him (though she is very honest and says he was a friend first and they are not doing anything, and i trust her). Now she is living with me again because i asked her back again but she is really miserable and in a job she hates and my job is going really well, plus she has no money as it took ages for her to find work here. I am paying for evrything, although i am in debt, plus she is in a horrible mood all the time and wont have sex and it is driving me mad and making me feel really scared and trapped that this will be my future with this miserable person. She says in that case she will move out again and get a room but my happiness depends on her being happy and i know she will not be happy there. What do I do (we dont' have children, she wants them)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): I would say that if you don't want this drama in your life forever, you have to end it totally! you keep going back and forth , hurting each other, never getting on with your life and it is just a mess! You both need to seperate for good and don't even dream of kids..can you imagine if a child has had to move around with you two going from place to place? horrible for the kid and yourself.
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