A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I am gay and have been with my boyfriend for a number of years. The last few years have been a real emotional struggle for me trying to deal with his decreased interest in anything even remotely connected to sex.Talking seems to be pointless as he doesn't seem to see where I'm coming from and if anything thinks I have a problem by wanting to get it on with him too often.I have done everything I can think of and nothing seems to lift his interest. Lately I've just backed right off as I can't handle the rejection but today I wanted to really badly so in a cheeky sort of way just followed him around the house without any clothes on. The result was he just got annoyed.Is this common, is this normal, what should I do?? My whole body and mind are crying out for sex so but unless it is an odd time that suits him he's not interested one bit. I am in my mid 20s and I don't know if I can take this any more which breaks my heart as I love him so much.I sort of don't even know what I'm trying to ask but if anyone has any comments, suggestions whatever I'd be so interested to read them. Thanks so much xxx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Helpful Hillary  +, writes (27 August 2008):
It's hard when the person you love feels like their rejecting you but it's clear your partner doesn't see it that way. In many relatinoships the sex life can become flat as each partner gets used to the fact that they have eachother and no effort is needed therefore when love making happens it's a special moment or a moment they wish they didn't have to do as many people can get bored of sex (i don't know how!). However you are showing signs of needing to be loved! you say talking is useless but it may be just the way your saying what you mean. make a romantic gesture to your partner, say a meal but do not go out to a public restaurant as this can make him very uncomfortable, do it at home in a nice environment. Do not metion sex straight away! that is a killer. generally talk and show interest in his day and talk about general chit chat. when you both feel relaxed simply say that there has been a few problems in your mind but do not just list the sex. get everything you feel out in the open. when the sex subject is mentioned say that you love him with all your heart and you just like being close to him also explain you feel like your getting rejected and that in a relationship there are two people needs not just his. maybe you could come to some sort of plan but if all your attempts fail you've got to remember this isn't fair on you and if he isn't willing to show his love to you once in a while you may have to walk away if it gets you down this much he can't expect you to cope. but never describe sex as sex but as love making as that is what it's meant to be between two partner a display of eachothers love for one another. also you cannot expect him to give into you all the time he clearly has his limits! i hope i've helped.
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