A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been friends for a few years, and have been dating for a few months, and he confessed something to me that I'm not sure how to respond to and not sure what to think about. He told me about his voyeuristic tendencies and that in the past he has spied on female relatives while they were changing. Is this something I should be worried about? He said while we're dating it won't be an issue, and I trust that. But, is this warning of a deeper issue going on? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): It depends how old he was and for what purposes.If he was spying on them it shows you can not trust him.How do you know he was not spying on you while you were changing or doing somethhing?
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (4 July 2009):
 Does it make YOU feel uncomfortable? Thats the question here, and obviously since you posted it does to some extent. Voyeurism is one thing, but on relatives is an tricky issue I imagine. what is your gut telling you?Many voyeurs are harmless(probably most) but once again if it makes you uncomfortable then you need to decide what you want to do. I would suggest having another honest and open conversation about it. Frankly I give him a degree of credit for letting you know instead of you finding him staring through a peephole doing the knuckle shuffle and leering at his aunt at Christmas Dinner. Be that as it may once again I suggest that you be as honest with him as possible as to your feelings about it.
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