A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was brought up with the idea that sex was dirty, porn was unquestionably wrong, sexual expression was shameful (saying "sexy", for example, was taboo in my household), and sex toys were disgusting.Of course, now that I'm an adult (an open one, at that), I don't feel this way about sexuality.However, because of how I was brought up, I still have this guilt almost about my sex toy. It's a simple dildo and I enjoy it, but I feel "bad" about using it.I'm just curious... how can I get over this guilty feeling?! And what is your opinion on sex toys?
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female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (14 June 2014):
Eh, it's hard to overcome upbringing. I'm a recovering southern Baptist in my 40s, and to this day I still feel a twinge of residual Christian guilt after I masturbate.
It might not ever totally go away, but recognizing it for what it is will keep it to a bare minimum.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (14 June 2014):
 My opinion is that as long as you enjoy it, it's a completely normal and healthy expression of sexuality.
I think it's a shame when people grow up being fed this kind of stuff - for this very same reason. I've had a few friends who experienced exactly what you're experiencing once they reached adulthood. They had had it so engrained into their heads that sex was wrong, and everything related to sex was so taboo, that even masturbation made them feel guilty. It took them quite a while to unlearn all of that and get to a point that sex or even masturbation wasn't burdensome and stressful.
Basically, it's just going to take some time to retrain and re program your brain that it's completely normal and acceptable. You've been fed this mentality that it's wrong for so long, that it's become engrained into your way of thinking. It's just going to take time before you can literally forget all of that and rewire it into the full realization that you're totally normal. But be patient. That may take a while, as you spent a lifetime learning that, so it may take a while to relearn it. Just keep repeating it to yourself that it's completely normal and you're doing absolutely nothing wrong. Eventually you'll get it stuck in your brain :)
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (14 June 2014):
My opinion is that as long as you enjoy it, it's a completely normal and healthy expression of sexuality.
I think it's a shame when people grow up being fed this kind of stuff - for this very same reason. I've had a few friends who experienced exactly what you're experiencing once they reached adulthood. They had had it so engrained into their heads that sex was wrong, and everything related to sex was so taboo, that even masturbation made them feel guilty. It took them quite a while to unlearn all of that and get to a point that sex or even masturbation wasn't burdensome and stressful.
Basically, it's just going to take some time to retrain and re program your brain that it's completely normal and acceptable. You've been fed this mentality that it's wrong for so long, that it's become engrained into your way of thinking. It's just going to take time before you can literally forget all of that and rewire it into the full realization that you're totally normal. But be patient. That may take a while, as you spent a lifetime learning that, so it may take a while to relearn it. Just keep repeating it to yourself that it's completely normal and you're doing absolutely nothing wrong. Eventually you'll get it stuck in your brain :)
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