A
male
age
51-59,
*iddickvan
writes:Hi there, i was a single father for 8 years rared two kids by myself mother isnt in the picture then i met the love of life the kids love her too! and we all have a blast! We are having our first baby together its due in september .Well at first when i told them the were all happy to think they have a new sibling on the way. My wife is very tired at the moment and well dosent play with them as much as before and they said to me one day that they dont want a baby in the house because my wife and i dont play with them they also think i will forget them i have talked to them SO many times that there still going to be my boys no matter what! there 9 and 13 years old and hard to convince really! Why do they ot like the idea of a baby? how do i get them to like this experience?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): they would feel this way whether she was their step mom or their biological mom. it's not that they're upset cos she's "pregnant with your baby" but just cos it's normal for kids to be unhappy at having new competition for their parents' attention, that's all
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (24 June 2011):
 It's a big adjustment and they're still kind of young so it's hard for them to grasp it all. And it's common for kids to be a little jealous of the new arrival. Since they love your wife, I think they'll adjust in time. Just make sure you continue to do special things for only them and spend quality time with each of them when the baby is not around.And when you do get with them, make sure you don't fall into the trap of only talking about what the baby is doing, or saying etc. Take the time to find out how their day is going, what's happening in school and make them see that they are still a big focus in your life. It'll be hard to do, but I know you can do it. And so can your wife. You guys may even take turns taking each of the older boys out shopping or to the zoo so they get to spend some one-on-one time with each of you now and then. It may also help to incorporate their assistance, such as teaching them how to change diapers, feed the newborn (once you feel comfortable that is) so they take ownership of the rearing of their new sibling. I think once they hold that tiny bundle in their arms they will be overwhelmed with love.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (24 June 2011):
It's a big adjustment and they're still kind of young so it's hard for them to grasp it all. And it's common for kids to be a little jealous of the new arrival. Since they love your wife, I think they'll adjust in time. Just make sure you continue to do special things for only them and spend quality time with each of them when the baby is not around.And when you do get with them, make sure you don't fall into the trap of only talking about what the baby is doing, or saying etc. Take the time to find out how their day is going, what's happening in school and make them see that they are still a big focus in your life. It'll be hard to do, but I know you can do it. And so can your wife. You guys may even take turns taking each of the older boys out shopping or to the zoo so they get to spend some one-on-one time with each of you now and then. It may also help to incorporate their assistance, such as teaching them how to change diapers, feed the newborn (once you feel comfortable that is) so they take ownership of the rearing of their new sibling. I think once they hold that tiny bundle in their arms they will be overwhelmed with love.
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