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female
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anonymous
writes: I also have a trainer flirtation story. I need to know if I am reading this guy wrong.I started working with a trainer and we flirted...a lot. He was sweet and always said things that made me wonder about his feelings. We would have very intimate talks and he would tell me that I am so genuine and so forth. He would meet me for lunch or coffee and even for dinner to talk (as friends). He even stopped at my house one weekend to show me his new motorcycle. I didn't even know he knew where I lived! Ok, so here is the problem. I am married. He knows that and is not one to go after married women, which I think is good. But, I can't help wondering what his feelings have been. Now that I am not working with him, but see him at the gym, he does and says things that make me think there is something there. He will give me looks like pretty much I think should be reserved for the bedroom and he stares at me, but looks away when he thinks I see him do it. He is young, so maybe immature and conflicted about his feelings? Should I ask him? One time I jokingly said he needs to find someone like me and he said "well, I can't have you". This is driving me crazy from the standpoint that I want to know for sure and can we go on being friends. Am I making this up because I want a younger man to like me or is there something there?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2006): Want that spark back in your marriage?
I suggest going out and buying this book/cd by Dr. Phil Mc Graw titled "Relationship Rescue".
Brief discription:
With Life Strategies, Phil McGraw helped hundreds of thousands of people take responsibility for their own actions and break free from self-destructive habits and situations. Now he turns his honest, unflinching eye toward relationships -- diagnosing them, repairing them, and maintaining them. This hands-on audiobook is for people who realize their relationship is in trouble, but who don''t want to give up on it. Dr. McGraw helps get relationships back on track with clear action-oriented steps for reconnecting partners.
* Diagnose the relationship
* Take personal responsibility
* Escape wrong thinking
* Embrace relationship truths
* Learn the formula for success in a relationship
* Renegotiate the relationship
* Learn to live with love and harmony
Relationship Rescue offers readers the chance for further happiness through meaningful, fulfilling relationships.
I also recommend Stephen R. Covey's book titled "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families"
Stop fliriting with your trainer...it's just a phsyical thing anyways as I bet a look at his salary will wake you up to reality.
You shouldn't rely on another man's attention to make you feel alive and vibrant. You can do that yourself and on your own and this will make Hubby go..."WHOA".
Seek some counseling as well for the sake of your family.
A
female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 Most young men fantasise about older attractive women. It sounds to me that he has got a crush on you big time and you need to nip it in the bud. Tell him that you have noticed the way he looks at you and the way he behaves around you, and tell him you are not interested. Make it clear. I think you should stop saying things like "you need to find someone like me". That is giving him the wrong impression. Maybe even change your gym. Good luck
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