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male
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anonymous
writes: Thank you for all your help so far as regards my problem.Yet my 16-year-old son still wants to marry this 52-year-old woman. I contacted the police but they can't do anything about it apparently.My wife is worried about our son.What kinds of problems would my son face if he did marry her? Social, ethical, moral, physical etc.Thank you for your advice so far.Martyn in Watford, Hertfordshire Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): SO what if he wants to marry her. When I was 13 I was with a 46 year old. I fell in love with her and I regret not marrying her. I am 36 and still regret not getting married to her. She is 69 now and still the best I have had she proved that too me a few months ago. Let the boy go and do what he wants.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006):
Well you do run the risk of pushing them together in any thing you do.
But what about a good old-fashioned civil suit? Make things hot for her with legal depositions, interviewing her ex-husband may be her kids, a fun public interst story in the paper or on the news making her look bad in front of her neighbors and co-workers.
Nail her with the expense, the aggregrivation, and the embarassment. She may decide its too much hassle.
In these thing you have to be prepared to negoiate, becuase you really dont want to recover the 1 million dollars or whatever you will be sueing for. Perhaps you can get an agreement that they will not marry until he is 18, they will go to consoling and he will continue to live at home. That the best you can hope for.
Talk to a couple of lawyers- remember you dont have to have the greatest grounds in the world to sue, and that your actual goal is to stall anyway.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): hmm yeah i see why you're worried. However, if he truly is in love with her then there isnt much you can do. I dont think they will stay together if it isnt love. He's only young and hormones are flying everywhere, he probably just sees her as a mother figure ?
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female
reader, Bobbyjo  +, writes (1 December 2005):
 Unfortunately, the police cannot do anything when the child is 16 and over. I believe that this relationship will not last. Your son, and this woman, are both facing huge physical and mental changes in their lives. Your son will grow into a man and want to go out alot, do more things, see other women etc. Whereas the woman will be growing very old and I cant really see your son wanting to waste his young life life nursing an old woman. He will also be unable to have children with her and this will eventually put a huge strain on his life. This really is just a phase and I can guarantee you it will pass. The only thing you can do is let him get on with his life, as pestering him may push him towards this woman even further. Just make sure you and your wife are both there for him when everything falls apart.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2005): Am I correct with this....
When he's 26, she will be 62
When he's 36, she will be 72
When he's 50, she will be 86.
Trish
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2005): Martyn, may I suggest that you talk to a good, reputable family counsellor about your concerns in regards to your son. There are many professional and experienced counsellors and psychologists that may have special expertise in helping you to find workable solutions to your unique concerns. The police cannot do anything about your case as the age of consent where you live is probably 16 years old, so their hands are tied as far as the "legalities" of this case. I fully understand you and your wife's worries about this situation. Give a counsellor a call and see if you can get some support and tips on how to discuss this serious issue with your son. I wish you both the best of luck and take care.
Hugs, Irish
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2005): If he is under 18 he has to have your permision to get married.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2005): What do you mean the police cant do anything? Thats illegal.
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