A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hii have just been reading all the student teacher relationship questions and answers...and i really need helpone of my teachers has told me he really cares about me and that he could imagine us spending the rest of our lives togetheri have known for about a year that he likes me, but 4 weeks ago he actually told me in a letter...and i feel as though i feel the same. he could see i was abit upset by the whole situation though the next day and gave me his email address to explain how i feel. and it carried on from there. he also had my mobile number as a teahcer has to visit you on work experience, and he decided to visit me, so i gave him my number (this was in june) and so last weekend when i was on a school trip he text me. i wasnt in school on the monday or tuesday as i was still on the trip and he was missing me so much and i was missing him. we were both looking forward to seeing each other on wednesday as we both have second lesson free, so we were going to spend the hour having a general chat.when i arrived back at school...i had found out that school have found out and my teacher has been suspended! i had to be interviewed by a policeman as soon as i arrived back at school...and i have now not seen my teacher for a week. he is everyones favourite teaher and people actually run to his lessons. i feel like i have let so many people down! does anyone know if there is any chance he will get his job back? nothing actually happened between us...it was just talking and emailing, so surely he could have a chance of getting his job back!?i am getting no sleep and not eating much as i cant believe that i have ruined someones career who i care about soo muchi am trying so hard to not blame myself but i am trying to get as much evidence as possible to show that there has been other situations in other schools where the teachers have kept there jobs...and so if anyone knows any, please tell mei am 16 and he is 33...he is married, but was divorcing his wifeplease someone help mexx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): anyone in education as a profession has a duty of care to the people they teach - if they get involved emotionally in any kind of relationship that goes above and beyond the normal teacher/pupil relationship - this can be interpreted as a breach of this duty of care and they could lose thier job
- it may not seem fair to you - it may seem like your fault - but this teacher has breached your trust and they ought to have known what they were doing at the time
- it's a shame you feel bad about it but one day it's possible you'll realise you had a lucky escape
A
female
reader, jaime90  +, writes (22 October 2008):
 THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT
he is in the position of responsibility and given the way he has acted he deserves to lose his job. You need to leave it alone nothing good can come out of this. Even if you were aloud to be together, a 33 year old with a 16 year old is illegal (in australia im not sure where your from)
dont feel bad about it, he is a creep. you may not think so but he is! he is 33 and married, and you are a student! its ridiculous. he is what you call a pedofile.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): This is why you NEVER write things down or leave any form of trail behind you. Spoken word, without witnesses only.
On a serious note though.
It is illgeal, no matter how either of you feel. And he faces the punishment for it.
Next time either be more careful or just wait until you are out of school, it isn't really THAT hard to do.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, RedStars +, writes (20 October 2008):
[question the for the orginal question asker person...] If people were able to get onto your hotmail and read your e-mail from your teacher/ you sent him would they be able to read messages on social networking sites from them via your hotmail adress? e.g on facebook or myspace etc.?
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (20 October 2008):
just leave him be now. it's up to him if he stays or goes, i'm surprised they even gave him the choice, normally it would go straight to the board and sometimes he would not be allowed to teach again. seriously walk away!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have spoke to my headmistress today and she said that it is his choice whether he has his job back or not....so i am so pleased that he gets to make the decision...i could do with somehow persuading him to have his job back...but not sure how!!!and i only have until thursdayi am not sure how they found out....one of the teachers said 'by technology' but i dont understand why they wanted to look for it...they actually got on to my hotmail and read the emails on thereso if anyone else is in this situation....delete all the emails...and the ones in the deleted folder!!!thank you for all the advicexxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Just out of interest, how did they find out about this?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): I hope he gets fired, sorry but it's thanks to men like this but male teachers have such a hard time at schools.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): This is an extremely bad situation to be in, but of course you already know that. If nothing but the texting and e-mailing happened between you then there should be no evidence to suggest otherwise. He should get his job back if he has been treated fairly by the police and both of your stories lead to the same thing.
It may take some time for it all to be sorted out completely but i'm sure everything will be fine. There are occasions where it's fine for students and teachers to have eachothers e-mail adresses and mobile numbers, e.g in my school the people that do the Duke Of Edinburah have the teacher [who is the leader of it] e-mail and mobile number, so you can use that to show it's alright. Plus the fact he had you number for Work Experience show be fine anyway.
I doubt that has helped, but i just hope everyhting turns out okay!
Good luck! xxx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 October 2008):
Well if they asked your mum if she'd be ok with him teaching then they are probably thinking they'll let him continue.
You'll really just have to wait and see what happens, but if they are not pressing charges then it will probably be ok.
However, he is going to get a lot of funny looks and lose friends over this in the staff room so he may start looking for another job himself to make life easier.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont think I will be going to court as my mum has spoke to the policeman recently and he said they will probably not need to speak to me anymore.and they haven't even interviewed my teacher yetso they must realise that it is not as serious as they thought...so does he not have any chance of being able to teach me again? my mum has also given her permission for him to be my teacher again, so surely that would count for somethingthank you for replyingxx
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (19 October 2008):
Yeah I have to agree with emily's answers. Being a teacher he would be aware of the rules and laws and should know about student-teacher boundaries. He has to face up to his punishment, as he obviously knew he was doing the wrong thing all along. He broke the law and that's that, sorry hun but you can't do much. He has to face what is coming to him.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 October 2008):
I'm sorry to break this to you but he broke the law and is going to be punished.
It is illegal for a teacher to have a relationship with someone. It's abusing their position of trust and the authorities have to have a zero tolerance approach so people know that their kids are safe in school.
He didn't do anything more than talking so he probably won't go to prison or anything like that. The courts will be lenient and take his good record into account. But there is a good chance he will be banned from working with children, and if not then they will make him move and get a job in a different school away from you and all the rumours.
Don't worry about trying to do the research, his solicitors will have books will all the cases about this kind of thing and since our courts work by precedent (you have to give out similar punishments as the people who did it before got) they will argue for him to keep his job.
The best thing you can do is to keep your distance and tell the truth in court about how you just talked and how everyone likes him as a teacher.
You didn't ruin his career, please don't blame yourself. He is the one who came to you. He could have waited till you are 18 and out of school, but he did it while you were under his care. He made a stupid mistake and hopefully they will see this.
It will all come out in court and you can always go to the local papers after it's all over, and offer to give your side of the story with your parents.
Good Luck!! xx
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