| A
female
,
*oyola
writes: Ok...im a 15 year old female and my problem is about my relationships at home. Well my stepmom is threatining to leave us (my family) because i am a very bad person ie: i cant control my self at times ,i have a big mouth etc. I dont want anything to happen but at the same time i feel if she left, my life would be a lot calmer. Lately i found out that everything i told my father about her (my feelings,,they arnt good) she knows about...i am soo mad that my own father even let me down...any ways..she said its either me or her who stays..What should i do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006):
Hun, I have a 15 year old son, who has a step-father. He clearly knows right from wrong and treats us both with respect and we give it back to him. I asked him one time, what he really thought of his step-dad. His exact words to me were "When I see how happy Tom makes you, Mom, then I am happy with Tom".
Hun, you can make choices in how you behave..you are old enough. It sounds like you despise your step-mother. I think if you have been disrespectful to your Dad's wife, you should humbly apologize and start learning that life isn't all about you and just your feelings. Your whole posting smacks of teen rebellion, through and through. Try to understand, Dear, that your Dad loves your step-mother. Do you fully comprehend what type of big hearted person it takes to even agree to step in and help a man raise his teenagers?? Most women would run the other way! Your Father did nothing wrong by telling her what you said. He is deeply concerned about how you and her are getting along and what it's doing to the 'whole' family. You may not realize it but your behaviours do affect everyone. And as much as you don't like it, she is Dad's wife and you need to respect her and your father's marriage.
You my dear, have a very unwilling heart and that is probably what the whole problem is. For you to say, you are out of control and that you say things that aren't nice, that tells me you are a teen girl who is unraveling and in the throes of major rebelliousness. Your Father knows the great need there for him and your step-mother to form a solid, sharp team, when dealing with a teen girls acting out behaviours. You and your parents need family counseling...badly. Suggest that to your Dad. It's the best thing you could do as a young teen in making sure you are heard, but here's the kicker, you have to sit back and listen to Dad and step-Mom. I sure hope they can save you, before they have angry, pregnant runaway on their hands. This is one posting that I sincerely hope I am wrong in my generalized assessment of your behaviours and attitudes. Please prove me wrong by stepping up to the plate and becoming a young woman, who respects and honors her parents, who works hard at school and has empathy and compassion in her heart for the very people that love her and are simply trying to protect her. TAke some time and think hard about this. Good luck and I wish you well.
|
