A
female
age
26-29,
*aywe23
writes:i dont think my parents (dad and step-mom) are grown ups. my step-mom's mom (my grandma) comes over and cleans our whole house, ever room (even my dads). and she reorgainies everything in my room. and if i make my bed, she'll remake it. she also pickes up my sister and brothers mess,does our londry and makes us dinner somtimes. at first it was ok, because i had a made, but now she goes throgh my things and i cant find anything, same with my dad, she'll put somthing he needs somewhere and he cant find it, but he wont say anything to her about it. (my dad and step-mom knows i dont want her to do that, but they wont do anything) is there anything i can do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (18 June 2010):
 For this woman, tidying the house is probably attached to her role in mothering your step-mom...she just hasn't been able to cut the umbilical cord so to speak. She probably gets a sense of personal value through her helping, even though it is not helpful to everyone else! Because of that you need to tread carefully not to hurt her feelings. Basically talk to your step-mom and ask her to step in. If she is reluctant then it is up to you to become a 'rebel teenager' who talks to her direct. Tell her you are of an age requiring privacy and she is not allowed in your room (politely and gently). If she still goes in there, buy a lock from a hardware store and fit it to your door. Your parents may even be inspired by your actions to stand up for himself at last! Try to understand this woman however. In her eyes, she is just being grandma and clucking around her brood.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): If your parents aren't doing anything then it might e for a reason you're not aware off, talk to them and tell them that you are sick of her doing this and they might say yes... Or they might explain why it's a no.
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