A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I am 22 years old and have been with a wonderful young man for the past 2 years. He is three years older than me, has graduated from college and has been working for the past three years. He is cute, funny, devoted, loyal, sensitive, and the hardest worker I have ever known. Because I am still in college, our relationship is long distance.This past semester, I met another boy at school who is my age. He is hysterical and fun to be around. I don't believe he has potential to have a serious relationship with me because he is too immature, and not as grounded as my boyfriend is, but we always have a great time when we are together and I would consider dating him casually.So the dilemma: I HAVE a great guy. I feel love for him and we have something special. I see myself being able to share a future with him.BUT. I hardly get to see him and I get very lonely at school. A lot of the romance has died due to the distance/time, but I still have a great deal of love for him.I am torn between these two men. They both want to be with me. They both know about each other. I have to choose. I don't want to lose the man I have now, but I feel like I'm not getting enough out of the relationship (mostly because of the lack of physical closeness/sex). But also, part of me feels like I will have missed out on dating in my younger years if I continue with the same man. I would like to settle down one day, but right now I'm only 22. I still have 2 more years of school left.My boyfriend has offered to move closer to me so that he can see me more, but I don't know how I feel about that. I feel like that would put more pressure on me. Maybe I am just not ready to commit?I already predict that a fling with my friend would be brief and shortlived (but fun while it lasted). Would it be a mistake to date a new person after I've been with a wonderful person for 2 years? Or would it be a mistake to stay with the steady boyfriend, and not get to date around while I am younger? Any thoughts on this? I've been feeling terribly guilty about the situation. It breaks my boyfriend's heart.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 You can't go against your own heart BUT a note of warning.
Wonderful guys are NOT that common, are you truly not ready to commit or are you just suffering a bit from cold feet?
Are you sure you know what it means to date around?
Read some of the posts by older people on this forum who are past their 30's, have dated around and still not found someone. Do you want that?
Personally, I think that if you are worried about missing out you may yet be too young for commitment. Is this really how you feel or do you think that is what you are supposed to do because that is what you see in the media?
Follow your own heart but don't be fooled into thinking that the only way to happiness is to date around.
A
female
reader, LilzDon'tKnow +, writes (3 July 2008):
 If you feel like your missing out then you shouldn't be. If you truely love this guy and he loves you back then you might need to take a break. Absense makes the heart grow fonder. If he misses you enough he'll take you back
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