A
male
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anonymous
writes:my son will start school in september (he´s 5). I know I was bullied at school, and although it hit me really badly, I got out of it OK. But I´m scared that if my son gets bullied, he keeps it all in even if we tell him to tell us if he´s being bullied at school. Then it all gets too much and he does something drastic like killing himself.I know that sounds horrible but I don´t want this to happen to my son. Can anyone give any advice?
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male
reader, jmac1344  +, writes (24 April 2007):
 If you're that worried you could always put him in a kids self defense program.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (23 April 2007):
 Hi,
I am affraid most children are bullied in school at some point.
Children can be extremly cruel, and unkind. Its all a matter of wanting to stay in packs. And not be different. Also, bullies are uasually bored with no interests.
I found the best way to avoid this is to get your child involved with some kind of sport. That way they tend to make friends with other children with simular tastes. It really doesnt matter what sport, as long as this is something you can both enjoy, as well as with his mates. Do worry about him, but dont make him into a pansy. And I am sure he will be ok.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): I know this sounds kind of disjointed, but I'm quite young, and I sometimes see these things happening. If he has friends, he wont be bullied. Simple as that. Thats an answer through a young boys eyes, by the way. Sorry!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): if you are petrified ,you could always sit down with the teacher and explain or if you sit around the table ask him "how was school today" or "what did you do at school" if your son starts to stutter or loos worried then try to tell him a story that could make him open up and good luckx and hope he does not get bullied and he enjoys school
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female
reader, mexico36 +, writes (22 April 2007):
Hi, I felt exactly the same when my son was due to start school. I hated the thought of leaving him alone to fend for himself at such a young age, and I too was bullied at school. I think its perfectly natural for you to worry as most mothers do anyway.
But my son, who has a bit of a shy character, fit in fairly well and has thankfully been able to stand up for himself when he needed to. I was able to get him to talk to me eventually - it was hard work at times but he did manage to tell me about things if they were troubling him.
The worse thing for me was he started to play with boys who were not kind to him all of the time but he ended up becoming stronger for it though I eventually told him to make new friends (as his attitude and mood started to change for the worst) and to see why these other friends were no good for him. And he was fine and has been since - I couldnt ask for a better son.
Unfortunately kids can be cruel at all ages but when they are so young its really not all that bad. All I can suggest to you is to look out for any behavioural/mood changes as this will be your only signal if your son cant openly speak to you about his concerns but hopefully you wont have any or too many.
Also you can always ask his teacher about his social interaction at school whenever you want to- they usually have a very good idea about whats' going on in the classroom and playground and dont mind telling you.
It will also help him immensly if you invite his new friends from school round regularly - this will ensure he is popular and well-liked and he too will be invited round his friends in return. This way you will at least be able to be rest assured he has a support network at school.
On that note, try not to worry yourself too much as most of it will be for no reason!!
My son is now 8 and is the happiest he's ever been - of course I still worry if he's ok or not but my worries are all in vein because he keeps telling me he is!
Best of luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): hi,
i was bullied at secondary school for 2 years and i know how horrific it can be.
my eldest son was bullied also from the age of 5 to 7 but with the help of one amazing teacher it ended alot sooner than it began and he's now a popular member of the classroom.
My youngest son now has been at school nearly a year and has not had one problem at all infact at 5 he was voted by classmates to go on the school council a BIG popularity contest in classes.
My advice to you is stay confident your child picks up on your feelings and emotions and often emulates them, make friends with as many parents as you can outside school and try and sort out some children comming over for tea to play.
If your child does have problems with bullying don't take it laying down, contact not only your childs teacher but the headmaster aswell. if it doesent get sorted within a couple of weeks notify the board of goveners and find out who is the most qualified teacher in the school who deals with children who have trouble "fitting in" and book a meeting with them to discuss the issues.
At 5 years old it is very rare that any serious cases of bullying takes place but it does happen i know it happened to one of my sons but usually at this stage it is very easy to work with schools and local services to resolve the problems quickly.
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