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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi!I'll just jump straight in and say I've got an age gap issue that's really bugging me. I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 29 (30 in 5 weeks) and basically I'm just getting a load of flack from friends and family. I - unfortunately - come from a very British, debutante loving family (If I see another polo ball . . .) and really, the way our twisted little world works is a series of polite arrange marriages. I say polite because you're introduced to who your family want you to marry, pleasantries ensue . . . etc etc. And usually there's really no more than a five year age gap as an absolute MAXIMUM. And my boyfriend is considerably older than that. Because he's also from the same pompous background as I am, I haven't been disowned by my family . . . yet. My Grandmother's actually quite pleased to be honest, she married someone with an even bigger age gap. But, siblings, parents and some of the people in our little social group are raising eyebrows. My close friends think I'm mad but are supporting me but I'm getting quite twitchy - I've been going out with my bf for 3 years and I completely adore him but I hate living with whispers everywhere!!Does anyone think this is too large an age gap?? What should I do?!??! I'm steadily going madThanks ^^
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 Isn't that the old fashioned way of marriage? Or is that how they still are today? I mean it's not like you're a Lady who is being forced to marry the Duke of Manchester when you're really in love with the stable boy..Sorry, been watching way too much Pride and Prejudice and Marie Antoinette.
Anyways, heck no it's a considerable age gap. Now say he was 42, then that's something to raise your eyebrow at. You can be with whomever you want, I disagree with arranged marriages and I understand that in some cultures it's important. But I'm guessing in those cultures they don't believe in divorce or have a lack there of legal system. Be with who you want to be, love whomever you want, you have a voice and a choice...Stand up for yourself. It's 2010 for pete's sake, and gay marriage is getting legalized in more states..Out with the old fashioned and in with the new times. Ultimately, you're the one who would spend the rest of your life with him, not your family.
So bring up good points such as his pompous background, throw in a few bits about his respected family..just to appease them a little. If he is established in life with a great career and excellent schooling at Oxford, who could argue with that? Let them know this is your life and your family will not dictate it, you will.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (20 October 2010):
 The age gap is fine. 29 and 21? Nothing. Don't worry about it. If anything, it means he'll still be physically very attracted to you when you're well into your forties.
As for everyone's opinion of you, well, the sad thing is that certain types of people will always find ways to come down on you. If it's not one thing, it's another. The best way to throw it in their faces is to be openly happy with your current relationship, and let thems stew in their own problems. Your grandma has the right of it.
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