A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello, It has come to my attention from a reliable source that a male friend i went to school with and haven't seen for 22 years has said to someone that i am going to leave my husband for him!! he has also said he has met my children and that he's friends with my husband!!I am gobsmacked as i thought we were friends, we chat on fb and i have always made it clear i am very happily married. He lives at home with his parents (hes 38) single and has said to me that 'we missed the boat and we should have got together at school'. Not trying to be nasty but that was NEVER going to happen as he certainly was not my type, i never felt the slightest bit of attraction to him EVER. I feel angry as like i say i regarded him as a friend, someone i could have a laugh with nothing more, but for him to make up such blatant lies is beyond me, he told this person that he met my husband at a conference!!! something to do with pensions,that i picked up my husband in the car and thats how he made the connection to me. My husband is in finance and always has been. He also said we meet up regularly him, me and my hubby, and he's been to our home. To say this has really angered me and to say he knows my children has made it worse.He is not aware that i know of his lies yet, i really want to humiliate him as i suspect that he has also told others these lies, probably old school friends of ours.He told this person that nothing sexual has happened yet between us as he is doing the 'gentlemanly' thing and waiting for us to part when the children are a little older. I totally despise him now and i am feeling such anger typing this! I want my revenge!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): Hmm..It'd be interesting to see how he'd react if your husband pretended to believe the rumors and confront him. Nothing like an angry husband to make ya back off and pee ya pants-or both :p I wonder if he'd deny the accusation, admit the truth, or stand by his lies and be pummeled :p If it's the latter-he's a cuckoo clock! FB could be a massive weapon in itself too...you can find a creative way to let him know you know and embarass him. Exhibit A: cute pics of you and your husband with the caption "the man I'm leaving for *idiot* Exhibit B: tagline "I love watching my kids grow up cause it means I'm one step closer to being with *moron* etc etc hehe
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): This is my post. In reply to follow the black rabbit:
Yes that certainly fits, a compulsive liar. He did fairly well at school i would say the top half of groups.
He has a fairly mundane job so no great achiever, lower than average looks for definite.
I like the idea of a small gathering but the idea of having to see him, yuk!
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (4 October 2010):
 So I suggest you just tell your husband what's going on and perhaps block/delete him off your facebook if your source is proved true. I really think he means no real harm, he's just trying to prove that there's "more" to him, that he can get a woman he obviously finds attractive. Or maybe, I could be wrong and this is his idea of a joke. Make no moves until you're very positive. But, talk it over with your husband as whatever this man is doing, it's still not acceptable and could put a stain on your reputation as his lies may get bigger as more people believe him and he gains more confidence.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): I am replying to my post. Thankyou for your advice but i cannot feel sorry for this person, this source was my friend's daughters friend and i know it to be accurate, shes no liar and nothing to gain by this. Shes a lovely girl of 20 with morals and she was livid that this piece of work was telling lies. She even told him his story did not add up when she realised it was me he was talking about, she asked him what my house was like and questions like that, he came up with wrong answers cos he knows nothing about me other than i am married with 2 kids.
My husband is away on business this week so i can't speak to him about it until he's home, he will be very angry. In the meantime i am just wound up about it.
I suppose as well i am suspecting that he has probably told old schoolfriends this, he won't just tell one person will he? i feel sick as i have done nothing to deserve this but in the meantime its getting to me.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit +, writes (4 October 2010):
I'd be furious too! But, there's something here that bugs me. People normally lie for manipulation, protection, or simple cruelty. His lies are too detailed, too fluent and silly.I mean, he lied about your husband's occupation, something that could easily be seen as a lie by those who know you well. He's being gentlemanly and waiting for the kids to grow up so you can be with you, a lie that makes him look "good"... I think we have a compulsive liar. Correct me if I'm wrong: at school he was either at the very top or the very bottom. Now, years later you're fb buds. He finds you attractive, a trophy. 38 and living home must be a huge blow so he invents something cool in his mind, a forbidden yet "moral" affair with you. He has issues! But, in cases like this, he'll trip over his own lies and humiliate himself. It'd be harsh to invite him to a small get-together, link arms with him and announce that (as everyone already knows), you're leaving your man to live with this guy at his mum's, you couldn't wait :p
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 October 2010):
 I can understand your anger but don't confront him just in case your informant has it wrong. However I would discuss it with your husband,let your husband know how angry you are, and discuss between you what should be done about it.
The poor sap could be just lonely, and if he did say these things you dont know under what circumstances, I had a male friend who would tell these sorts of stories just to be 'funny'.
We also dont know why your informant told you, were they hoping for a reaction, did they stretch it to make a better story, what were their motivations?
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