A
male
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anonymous
writes:I'm an empathic person. I tend to be very sensitive to the emotions of those around me. This can be energizing or draining depending on the circumstances. It translates (perhaps because of a surge of hormones) as a sensation in my chest that radiates. If it's pain, it feels like I just got tackled with a solid hit on my entire chest plate but my skin is fine - just a pain under the surface like you have a nasty purple bruise across your chest but an anesthetic cream numbs the first half inch of skin so it feels perfectly normal. This ember fire fades away.Ever since my sister told me since might be getting a divorce I feel horrible. She is a strong woman and remains calm and composed as she chats with her husband but I feel this horrible pain that does anything but fade. It's there all the time. I feel so bad. I was in a poor mood when I went out with my friends the next day. I was aching as I babysat their child. I'm so sad. My sister maintains her smile when she sees me and worries that I'm mad.She put off confiding in me so long because she knew I would get sad and so I don't want to tell her how sad I am anymore than I have. I'm trying to help her as much as I can afterall but on the inside I feel like I'm always on the brink of a heart attack. As discussions with her husband progress I know it will only get worse (this is just the beginning!) and I'm having a hard time handling it inside.Does anyone have any suggestions?It is something I generally deal with but ever and it drains me. I feel so horrible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your comments.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): Do you have your own partner, or are you living that side of your life through your sister's relationship?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): For gods sake stop being such a wimp!!
I feel very sorry for your sister. Not only is she most likely going through a rough time with her divorce now's she's got to deal with you on top of that. It's not your divorce!!
Suck it up and start being a man and supporting her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): You have to learn to shield yourself more to protect your energy. You can't help that you care, this is what you are wired to do, but you cannot carry your sister's pain. Remind yourself that this is not your burden and that she must feel her own pain in order to heal and grow.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (23 March 2010):
Dude, I don't know how to tell you this, but this is very unhealthy. You really need to work on this and get out of this pattern. It's likely to lead to some messed up relationships down the road.
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