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female
,
anonymous
writes: is it wrong for me to get into a relationship with a guy that once dated my sister? i mean it was not serious between them and i actually dated him first. i really like this guy a lot we do everything together, i just don't want out relationship to effect the relationship between my sister and i. what should i do?love lost Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): A similar thing happenned between my two sisters. They still don't get on now. But if you really like the guy then that's fine. I think you should talk to your sister about it and get her approval. If she doesn't give you her approval then you should decide whether you want keep your relationship between your boyfriend or your sister. Make the right choice because if in the future you break up with your boyfriend, then you could have lost both of them.
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (18 July 2006):
 Personally, I think the whole thing is foul. What is wrong with him? Its like he's working the whole family. I think its wrong for you and your sister to jepordize your relationship for a man who obviously doesn't care about the damage he is causing. I mean how uncomfortable is that at family gatherings or get togethers. The rest of the family has to ask from week to week which one of you he is with this time. No, this is childish and fit for an episode of Jerry Springer. Leave him alone and look elsewhere for a more suitable, morally correct mate. Good Luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): You dated him first? Hmmm. How did you feel about your sister dating someone you had a romantic intrest in?
Are your sister and you close?
Sometimes when we are close to a female in friendship it is common to develop feelings for someone they like. You have a friendship with the female for many reasons and you have common ideas and beliefs so it is natural that when they like someone; that someone has the same qualities you would admire and it would be someone you would pursue.
Your sister should be understanding.
I think you and the guy should talk things over and both approach your sister. You should tell her that you both feel attracted to one another and that you both have decided to date and you both hope she will be supportive.
Give her some space and time to adjust to his information. Let her know you love her and that you will always be her sister regardless whom you are dating.
In the end you will decide if this man is worth the dating risk of losing a close and trusting relationship with your sister. Family is very important.
And may I ask, how were you able to cope with your sister dating someone you had an intrest in? Did she come to you? Did she show respect of your feelings and if not, why?
I think if she feels she can do whatever she wants; it will be hypocrytical of her to become angry and hurt by your decision.
Forgiveness and kindness are still values to practice daily.
Good luck.
*hugs*
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