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male
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*rash
writes: hii am married,32 years old and iranian.i got married almost 8 years ago.i have a doughter at the age of 2.5.since around 3 years ago,i noticed that i love my wife but we have nothign in common.i didnt like her character,the way she speaks and the way she like to spend her life.but i was feelign myself responsible for her also.since then,i started chatting just for fun.and little by littlei found myself in love with a russian girl.i saw her twice.first one lasted for 12 days and in second time,we lived for around 1 month together.we were both right abotu our feelings and we are in love.i llove her,but also i feel guilty of leaving my wife.i dont know what should i do.and now,my wife knows that i have even slept with this lady but she doesnt get divorce of me.i should say that she will nto have financial problems after divorce.again i say,i love this russiona lady and she loves me and we are both sure about our love but i feel myself responsible for my current wife and i feel guilt in case of eaving her.help me!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): It is good you have guilt. This shows you are a caring and compassionate man. Do you have remorse?
Have you asked your wife why she wishes to remain married? I think you may have some doubts on her wanting to stay married.
Is it she does in fact love you? Is it because of her status if she gets a divorce? Will she be humiliated in the public eye? Is she afraid?
How do you feel about your actions in causing her to hurt and be afraid?
Why did you marry your wife?
I think you are being honest about how you feel. If you are honest with your wife well good. That is how it is to be.
I think still wanting to be financially responsible for your wife and child is a good and amazing thing. If you so feel thus inclined; do it.
Not too many men are willing to be and do anything for his family even after he leaves them.
In the end; it is your decision. Trust in your heart and do what you will for what is the right thing to do; only you, yourself know what is right by you and by your family.
I wish you well. Find happiness; recognize when you have it and do your utmost to keep and nurture it.
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