A
female
age
51-59,
*elpme911
writes:hi i really need help and want to change. ive been married for 20 yrs got married really young and life was good for a while but my sex life sucks, and ive turned to other men to fulfill my needs. i just was in a relationship with a guy younger than me and it was great but i was with him 3 times and he then broke it off becuz he felt that it wasnt right, now usually im the one breaking it off but with him doing it i just feel horrible and stupid, like how and why do i do this. i have so many regrets, i wish i could take it all back but i cant i keep saying ill never do this again but seem to end up doing it anyway. please any advise you can give me would be greatly appreciated I just want to be free and have more respect for myself plz talk to me :(
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female
reader, helpme911 +, writes (19 August 2010):
helpme911 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell I have addressed the issue... ok the problem is this my husband was diognosed with hydrocephalus and for those who dont know what that is well its excessive water on the brain which if not corrected can lead to death hes had two surguries already and hes doing great but i think the 2nd episode destroyed his reproductive system like he cant ejaculate and ive begged him to have it checked and he wont because he feels embarrased i guess i have tried having sex with him many times during this problem in hopes that he could ejaculate but its not happening then he gets frustrated and blames me and says i stress him out so idk i have needs and i know im being selfish but any affair ive had in the past was different cuz i broke it off but this last one did me in cuz he broke it off with me like 3 days later so maybe i feel rejected idk but i wish my husband would fix the problem if its fixable cuz im getting frustrated grrrrrrrr and he knows it now he dances around the question or just wont talk about it anymore so im really stuck here :( what do i do do i just live with it and be miserable or what i really love my husband u know weve spent lots of years together and maybe i honestly need to except what is, cant change it right !!!!!!!!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): 20 years is a long time. That's pretty good now a days. So yes the spark may be gone. 60% of all marriages face some form of infidelity. I personally think the numbers are higher.
So you've gone and done it. I've been married twice. And both of my ex's cheated on my. I learn to accept that it happens. We talked and tried to save the marriage each time. but they didn't seem to want to stop cheating. I can see their point. It's exciting to have new partners. it's like dating all over agin. and when your married the feeling is not there. even if you try to respark the light. I was a bit upset each time. but very understanding. that's just me.
You have choices to make. talk to your husband. try to fix the marriage (sex). keep doing what your doing behind his back. or let him know what your doing and try to let him know that you still want to be married but need new sex from time to time.
results may very. obviously you say you can't say you'll never do it again. and as many may say that your a bad wife. you're not. your just horny and human.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): I think you are feeling attracted to feeling attractive to other men, and maybe because your husband is not giving you any attention in that way. I agree Talk with husband.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): Talk to your husband about what is concerning you about your lack of sex life. I'm not saying you should tell him what you've been doing (unless you feel the urge to get it off your chest - but this is what confessionals are for even if you aren't a Catholic church-goer), but be open about your concerns. This isn't going to fix itself if you don't address the real issue.
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