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female
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anonymous
writes:My friend is 15, and has recently been going out clubbing and to parties alot. She's been kissing random guys and at a recent party she wanked this lad off and gave him a blow job. She's a very sensible girl, and clever and I don't think she'd do anything stupid, but I'm just wondering, is this normal behaviour for a 15 year old? Did any of you behave like this at 15? She swore me to secrecy, and I wouldn't tell anyone unless she was in danger, but should i tell someone? And i'm worried incase I'm just jealous of her, I'm 14 and have only kissed 2 guys, and not done anything else. I never go clubbing and the parties I go to they're fairly boring and nothing ever really happens. I do want the oppertunity to go to a party like this. But should i be worried about my friend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): I totally agree with Rythym! Great advice! Adding to that...Yes, I think you should be concerned for your friend, hun. She's making some very poor choices in her young life. As said below, she will suffer a bad reputation, she puts her emotional and physical health at great risk. (Std'd, pregnancy, pain/hurt) All for what? A boyfriend? You know what the teen world is like yourself, it's pretty unforgiving on people who act out like this. It's a terrible thing to thought of poorly and disrespected by one's peers, isn't it? If she keeps this up...news will travel fast. She will never find a decent boy to date her because any great guy will have 'heard about her'. Ask her....is giving up one's self-respect by doling out random BJ's to all comers, really worth the pain, angst and emotional hurt she will feel when she's older and her reputuation is in the gutter. Don't..I repeat, don't make the same poor choices! The only things you can do for this situation is encourage your good friend make good choices and for you to steer her in the right direction. She sounds a bit out of control here.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): First off, 15 is too young to be clubing and drinking and partying the way this girl is, she is showing her lack of maturity in her behavior here.
She is experimenting with her power over men, giving random blow jobs is all about getting a sense of power over the opposite sex, although it is very misguided and empty....the only thing she is getting is a bad reputation for being the kind of girl a lad can do those things with, and trust me, they won't see her in a great light afterwords, will brag about her to their friends and look down on her as potential girlfriend material...so what kind of power is that----The power to look stupid and foolish at best and as someone who does not value themselves at the very least.
You have NOTHING to be jealous of, and as her friend, you would be best to tell her you want nothing to do with her if she continues to act in this way as you don't want a reputation by association with her, this may make her see that you in no way approve and if she is your friend, she will want to hold to the same standards that you do, I know it sounds harsh, but you are showing respect for yourself and for her by doing and saying so.
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reader, Ordinarygal +, writes (21 January 2007):
 She is her own person.....not much you can do other than to advise.
We have all done some 'silly' things under the influence of alcohol. Hopefully she shall see her own foolish ways. You are a great friend to have !!! x
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (21 January 2007):
 Lot's of us go through a silly stage in our lives, for some people it's booze or drugs and for others, it's experimenting with guys or girls. She's just experiencing new things but it sounds to me like she's getting a bit ahead of herself.
It's all very good having a laugh and a party but when it turns to stuff like this, she needs to take a long hard look at herself and see what she is turning into. Lot's of people just grow out of this stage when they meet someone they really like, some people always do this, just hope she comes out the other side with nothing to remind her of this forever, like an STD.
I think you're being a good friend to be concerned. I don't think you're jealous of her, there's no need to jealous of someone acting like a whore. Maybe you'd like more experience but there is a time and place to be getting intimate and at a party with someone you hardly know is not one of them.
Maybe sit her down and tell her how you feel. There's no need to tell anyone else, it's not as if she's taking cocaine or anything that could kill her right this minute. Just let her know you're worried and she should watch out, men will carry on taking advantage of her until every shred of self esteem is gone and then, the lifestyle just spits you out the other side, with nothing but a bad reputation.
As I say, this is not abnormal, so have a word with her. Don't get dragged into all this, just be there for her when she needs you and keep an eye out for her. There's not much more you can do, really. People don't usually listen when they're advised but at least you can say you tried.
Good luck
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reader, cd206 +, writes (21 January 2007):
 Has something changed in her life to encourage her to change her behaviour? Lots of fifteen year olds do this kind of thing but you said yourself that she's sensible which makes me wonder if something has gone wrong in her life and changed her perception of things. I wouldn't worry about her, just give her advice on STDs and pregnancy and stuff and tell her you're always there if she needs you.
CD
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