A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend 2 years. I am 39 he is 29. He takes care of me and my 2 boys financially. he gives us anything we need or want.He is very controlling and smothers me to death. I have depression on and off. I am sometimes happy but for the most part i am jobless and have no way out. He is good to my boys and they'd rather be here than with their father...They are sad and seem unhappy at times.. we never realy go on vacations. he isn't out going and doesn't work... He however has a family and for the last 2 years goes to the bank and gets money, 1 to 2 thousand a week.. his mom is his power of attorney. They all keep me in the dark on whats going on. His mom gave my boyfriend her wedding ring and diamond... her husband died.. so he proposed to me but i am scared. he says until were married he refuses to tell me anything. What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 If you are having second thoughts then marrying him is not going to help. It does sound like he is great with your children which is very good but are you really happy with him? Does he treat you well. It sounds to me like you want someone who is outgoing who will socialise with you and go on holidays with you and the children. You really need to think long and hard and be sure that you want to commit to him for life.
Ok that is a lot of money for someone who doesnt work and it does sounds very suspicious to me. It might be something really dodgy and you just dont know what you are getting yourself in to. Could it be drugs? Even stolen goods? Are there any signs as to where is income is coming. It must be something really bad anyway when he refuses to tell you until you are married. It sounds to me like he knows its something you wont like therefore he is trying to trap you before you find out the truth.
You need to talk to him and tell him it is unfair that he keeps you in the dark until after you are married. Stand up to him and tell him you want to know what you are getting in to before you say your vows. Goodluck.
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