A
female
age
22-25,
*emmie
writes:Okay so the past two weeks me and my 2nd cousin have been talking.. A lot and flirting and we have a thing. He's a few years older than me so growing up we didn't talk but I'm 17 now. I saw him over Christmas but we had to pretend we weren't talking. In a few days we are hanging out, like a couple, for the first time. We are talking about "doing stuff" but I'm kind of really nervous and kind of guilty. What do you guys think? He really wants to become my boyfriend.. I'm really confused with the situation
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christmas, cousin, flirt Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (28 December 2015):
Not a good idea for so many social and biological reasons ...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 December 2015):
 I think if you two can't hang out around family, well then you can't date.
A relationship where you have to hide your partner, the person you love... from the world, it's just not a good thing.
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A
female
reader, Lemmie +, writes (27 December 2015):
Lemmie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys so much! Very helpful. I thought about it, and I really like him but I think it might cause too much trouble and I can't picture myself doing anything physical with him even though he's distant family.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (27 December 2015):
How MUCH older than you is he?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2015): No i wouldn't go for it. I would have said OK, fine, if your family didn't really hang out with him, but it sounds like you are a close-knit family who keep in touch every Christmas. He sounds like an older boy who is taking advantage.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2015): You should check if dating your cousin is actually legal in your state.
Also if you get pregnant by any relative (no matter how close or far the relation) then your chance of having a child with a disability is high because where healthy breeding is concerned, variation and diversity is the key.
If you decide to meet - go somewhere public! Also if he is a few years older than you he might be a few more years experienced than you, don't let his expectation decide what happene between you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2015): its absolutely not against the law for cousins to date or marry in this land where i am but you might have to check the law of your area because in some states they are oppossed to it..so to save your cousin s future you could check it out.I think your apprehension is natural and you may need to back peddle a bit.It has quite possibly happened a bit too fast and now would be the time to raise impediments if you dont want to branch out into physical.You could just have a flirtation which is flattering enough for a male cousin.Remember that the female has the final say in how far she wants to take it..you are not prebound together in a dirty little secret.Is your cousin honorable enough to be with or is he desparate for another notch on his belt?If it had the potential to be more he would wait .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2015): Seriously he's family, enough already. Just because you're 17 doesn't mean you're ready for all of this and it has the potential to go REALLY wrong.
It doesn't sound like he wants to be your boyfriend it sounds like he wants sex. Don't go there. Just say you liked getting to know him but actually you're not interested anymore.
This could cause a lot of upset when you have to see him again and again if he uses you then leaves you. You can't just never see him again and one day you might meet your future husband and have to explain to him you slept with your cousin and hen introduce them!
Nah, I'd be out of there.
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