A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I bring up one of my boyfriends exes a lot as I am very retroactively jealous of the girl. This has caused many arguments between us as I have been quite suspicious and controlling of my partner because of this. It's coming to a head now. My insecurities are ruining us. I'm not sure if now the problem is me or him ... He looks her up online sometimes even though he is not connected with her through social media. He says I shouldn't worry, that he loves me and wants to be with me, but he hates feeling controlled and I think me bringing her up a lot and reminding him of her and him hating to feel controlled is what's making him do this. They broke up two years before we met. He was hurt a lot by her and told me once that she was the one that got away until he met me. I think I only listened to the first part. I find it so hard to believe him. And him looking her profiles up freaks me out. Help!!!He also said that I'm always negative about everything and feels like I'm never happy. I broke up with my ex of 8 years a few years ago and he used to say this to me as well :-( therapy didn't seem to help much ..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2014): Hi OP here. Thanks for your response Tisha. I looked it up, it sounds very familiar. Especially the obsessive compulsive elements that I do in relation to it. Can you tell me what you all think of hypno-analysis?
There's a really good guy in my area and I was thinking of getting in touch with him to help me deal with it.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 April 2014):
 Well, as the past is repeating itself, in that your RJ is ruining another relationship, it's time to try a new approach.
As RJ seems to be an OCD type of problem, that's how you should tackle it. Go see your doctor, find a mental health professional with experience in OCD and go see to it.
Just because therapy didn't help much 8 years ago doesn't mean you should never try again.
Recognize that this is your problem and you will need to be the one who finds the solution, with the help of the right doctor and therapist, ones with experience in OCD.
Good luck!
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