A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:lately ive been realizing my relationship with my family isnt okay, or healthy for me. im being mentally hurt and i find myself crying sometimes yet i dont know why.. my mom and i arent that close, and im the baby of 5, to make it even more worse the closest sibling to my age is my sister whos 24. im 14. the oldest is 33.. i have 3 brothers and 1 sister, and i get no attention at home, i sometimes feel like i was an accident and im kind of unwanted. my mom is bestfriends with all my siblings but me, im also not able to be myself around them, im quiet and i seem depressed.. i hate leaving school because there im myself and i have my friends, when i get home i dont talk and just lay in my bed. i ask for some help in homework, but they dont even know what their saying when they try to. my brother is a drug attict and goes in and out of jails and rehabs. he annoys me and tries to talk to me after he steals from me and my family. he also likes to get girls pregnant, girls he doesnt even know. he even shows me pictures of whores half naked and asks me whos prettier. when their both ugly. my dad doesnt really talk to me either, him and my mother dont care about my grades, last year i got 3 F's and all they said was do better. its like i have to push myself, when thats the hardest thing to do.. i need motivation and they arent even close to motivating me.. their never there for me, so now im found confiding in strangers, or teachers.. my one teacher tells me shes worried and wants me to get help because she goes home thinking of me, and how im unsafe at home. but im not physically being hurt, its mentally.. i dont know what to do anymore, they all think im weird, cause i dont talk. and at one point they thought i was crazy. i hate going home to them. i love them but its just i want to be myself. i dont know what to do, please help me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you(:
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 March 2011):
 you are a very smart girl to recognise that aspects of your family life are not healthy for you. If you read my profile you might recognise some similarities.You still love your family, that is admirable on your part that you can still feel that love. I will truthfully tell you that i love my mother in law but i found it very hard to love my birth family, due to so many unacceptable behaviors. In the end i declared to myself that my own family were not 'normal' and i chose to NOT emulate their behavior in any form, once I had left home.Consequently i am seen as a 'failure' by my birth family as i don't get drunk, don't act in anti-social ways, and don't have multiple affairs and multiple marriages/divorces. I have my own family now and we are 'normal' and the support and guidance of my great first mother in law and her well of wisdom has made a major contribution to why my life is 'normal.You are vulnerable because you are not getting the support you deserve. And you are not being properly protected from bad influences. Your brother is a terrifyingly bad influence and your parents should be stepping up to exclude him from your sphere. Personally i do think it is an offence for an adult to show pornographic pictures to a person your age. If you have the courage to do so I would ask a senior Police Officer if it is an offence for your brother to show you the pictures he has been showing you. At the very least he is being a sleaze. Even if he is your brother. Do not allow the inadequacies within your family to deter you from your rightful path in life.Please do concentrate on your school work. It is your rightful path out of potential hell.The fact that you are more motivated to study and learn, and you recognise that your family do not know what they are talking about when they try to help, BUT you realise this is so, tells me you are smart. Please ask your teachers any time you do not understand.Please do not turn to boys for solace. You will have time for boys later. Your school work is what counts now. Let the boys notch their belts with their asignations with the 'easy' girls. If you can resist boys until you finish high school you will be a smart girl indeed.Obviously you are smart so even if you are depressed never allow your brother nor anyone else to offer you drugs they supply to relieve your depression.Only the Doctor should be the one to prescribe anything you need to treat your depression. Are you able to visit a recognised medical doctor to discuss your issues in confidence?Hide your money well from your brother. He does sound like a serious threat to you.It sounds like, outside of school, that you are too isolated from anyone who cares.One of the possibilities that might give you a window to other outlooks and other views of life is books. I know it was an outlet that I used at your age. I read Biographies of people's lives. I read books on historical events. Plus books on archeology, architecture, and at the time i didn't read feel drawn to fiction. As an adult, and after i had finished lots of studies (and lots of reading in other directions, re the subjects I studied later) i then decided to address my lack of fiction reading. Reading took me into the lives and thinking and achievements of so many people. And showed me other ways to live, relate and achieve. It showed me how people overcame insurmountable issues.And for relaxtion i also like doing an occasional logic puzzle to exercise my brain.And i think my reading made me a better person.Whenever I was immersed in books my family would make fun of me.Another thing i did whenever the weather was right and I could do it was go swimming. Doing a hundred laps or more is a great way to exercise and enjoy fresh air and the sunlight and not have to deal with argumentative family.I would really like you to try to concentrate on your studies. And try to feel positive about the future. Because it WILL get better.In another year could you possibly try to obtain an after school job? And ensure that your pay is paid directly into Your OWN bank account. Try not to use the money, let it build up for when you leave home. DO not share you password to your bank account with anyone. Do not loan a cent of it to anyone. Do not listen to any sob story on why you should lend any of it.I would not mind if you put a question to DC every day.You can ask for advice and support any time.You are welcome to think of DC as your own personal Good Aunts who want you to be safe and cared about.My best wishes to youAbella
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