A
female
age
36-40,
*illylightly
writes:One is How do you tell someone that you really like that you are falling in love with them ?Number 2 How do you know that you have found the guy that you want to spend your life with?number 3 How do you know that you are happy with the guy that you are with ?number 4 How do you really know that you have found happiness ? just wanting to know these are the thing that go though the mind that is all Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (23 August 2011):
Here are some thoughts on love, and responses to your questions.
1. The best way to tell someone that you love them, is to be simple, direct, and honest about it. In other words, just look at them and tell them. It is best to also not expect any specific response from them. If you can say it without needing to hear anything back, it is just you expressing your true feelings. People don't always fall in love at exactly the same time, and arent' necessarily ready to say it at the same time. If you are ready before the other person, you can say it, but give them the time they need to catch up.
2. Knowing you have found the right guy to spend your life with depends on the kind of life you want to live, and the kind of relationship you want to have. Love plays an important part in a healthy life long relationship, but there are other factors, sometimes more important factors, when it comes to sustaining a life long reltaionship. For example, if you love someone but they can't have kids, and you want kids, that can be a deal breaker no matter how much love there is. Also, if you love someone but they have some kind of unhealthy addiction, it might not work out in the long run no matter how much love there is. More important than love in a long term relationship is how healthy the relationship is, and the one doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the other. Having common goals, or goals that are compatible to a shared future together, are important. In my opinion, someone who makes you laugh, that you are happy around, that brings out the best in you, and who you can be truly yourself with, is what you are looking for. If not all of those things are there, some of them can be learned over time, which is part of the funcion of relationships, for us to grow and become more of who we want to be.
3. Knowing you are happy is the same as knowing you are hungry. Happiness, love, and hunger are all feelings. When you are hungry, the way you know you are hungry is because you feel it. If the feeling isn't there, you aren't hungry. Sometimes we lose touch with our feelings and they become harder to feel, but there are ways to get more in touch with them, to be more connected. Essentially though, if you are hungry, you know it by feeling it, and it is the same with being happy, or being in love.
4. Finding happiness is experiencing the feeling, same as before. If you feel it, you have found it. Happiness is not something that needs to be found, it is an experience that is available to us at any given moment. Being happy, or finding happiness, is natural to us, and when we forget how or become distanced from happiness, it is something that can be relearned, by putting less energy and focus on the thoughts and actions that don't make us happy, and more energy on the things that do.
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