| A ,
anonymous
writes: I need help! I'm gay and I found my perfect on chat. We love each other very much but I knew from the start he already had a bf and I was willing to accept it. But now his bf has asked him to move in with and I want to do that! I have asked him many times to think about moving away together and on one occasion he said yes. I think we could but now he is saying he's going to move in with his other bf and it tears my heart apart and upsets me whenever he says that! I need to know what is the best thing I can do or tell him so he understands that I want to move in with him as much as his other bf! Please help me! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 April 2005):
 I'm sorry sweetie, but it sounds like you're being treated like the 'Plan B' boyfriend. Nothing that's in your letter has suggested to me that your guy led you to believe that he'd leave his current b/f for you. You say that you asked him "many times" to move in together and he only said yes the one time. It just sounds like he was sort of lukewarm about it. I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but that's the way it looks from the outside.But regardless, do speak to him and tell him how you feel. Otherwise there's a chance he might be unclear on how strongly you feel about him. Try to talk to him in person if you can... chat is so impersonal and it's so easy to cut someone off. Failing that, get him on the phone. Explain that you think the two of you are great together and you really wish he'd reconsider moving in with the other guy, because you want to be the one that makes him happy. Remind him of all the good times you had on chat and everything you have in common. (Make yourself a list before you talk to him, so you don't get flustered.)Tell him how important it was to you that he know how you felt, because you really care about him.One caveat, though: be prepared for hard news. This happened to me when I levelled with a guy I really cared about and he said "I'm sorry, I just don't feel about you that way".No matter what the outcome, at least you'll know that he won't be ignorant of how you feel about him. Finally, let him know that you want to stay friends regardless of what he decides to do. Who can see what the future might hold? If you love him as a friend, at least you'll always be able to stay in touch and know where he is, just in case one day he's looking for a roommate.Good luck. Hope this helps somewhat.
|
