A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a lovely boyfriend who i have been with for about 16 months. Hes a good man, he treats me well and does do his best. I couldnt not ask for anyone better. I do feel lucky. From past boyfriends i feel i have been extremely traumatised and i am sooo scared he will cheat on/find someone else/speak to girls anything and it is driving me mad. I have been cheated and abused by first boyfriend when i was very young and my second boyfriend had an affair for a year and then got married and i no this has scarred me and made me very insecure! I dont want to put this on my boyfriend and sub consciously push him away, he does his best to reasure me but i just dont think he understands.I just dont want to have this constant worry. We have only ever had one instance were i thought he was doing something and he resurred and me and became really upset when i did so i had no choice but to believe him, i still months later constantly think about it and worry with horrible feeling in my stomach. I am js so scared i cant no go through that pain with him anyone ever again, i love him so much i want to marry him have his babies but i just dont know what to do? If he ever did i would just be shattered! I no its not fair to put it on him. Any one help please Very confused young girl here?!
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (10 June 2014):
 You can't live your life worrying about him cheating on you because you'll miss out on all the other nice things you can be sharing together. It could destroy your relationship over the long term not strengthen it. Show him that you know how to have fun and relax. It's not healthy to put obstacles in the way of your happiness. Talk yourself into knowing that you are the best thing that's ever happened to him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2014): Dear Anonymous Female,
Congratulations! The first step to a problem is realizing that there is a problem. Your insecurity should be a concern for self-progression. The good news is that there are many ways to build self-confidence. For example, positive self-talk (i.e. I love myself, I am in a healthy relationship) is one way to raise your esteem. Other ways can be learned from Chicken Soup. And note, that yes-your boyfriend has a past with rocky relationships, but that does not mean he will repeat the cycle.
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