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female
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anonymous
writes: i have lived with my partner for several years. I have had problems with an ex of my partner who wanted to be friends with him but not with me. this was sorted and my partner cut all ties with her which has resolved this. now she is moving nearer to us and still keeps contact with his family. the main problem is we cannot visit his family if she is visiting and i am concerned that her visits will now increase as she is nearer. this makes the whole situation very awkward. there is bound to be a family wedding in the future and we will all be present i want things not to be awkward so what should i do. should i just leave things as they are?
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (19 May 2006):
 Both you and your partner need to discuss this situation in depth with his family. You have to air your feelings honestly and truthfully about the situation you are finding yourselves in. I would go as far as to say that this woman has an ultierior motive....why? Because if she truely wanted to be friends only with your partner she would wish him happiness in his new relationship with you and also make friendly overtures towards you as well. The fact that she doesn't do this indicates a certain level of ulterior motive on her part to my thinking.
I do suggest that communication is the key here. Discuss with your partner what you are feeling and what you want to put to his family. Then together present a united front. Do not waver or allow others to come between you.
Good luck.
xxx
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