A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'm a 27y/o woman and my partner is 34. My partner is a lovely guy except for one thing- he speaks his mind, and I find it sooo embarrassing, but he sees nothing wrong with it.My partner believes in being honest with people and in many ways thats what makes him so trustworthy and it's easy to have a relationship with somebody who is honest about how they feel, as it stops potential problems and i don't need to worry about being lied to- if i want to know something, i ask him. But this belief in honesty is a double edged sword- he sometimes comes across as very rude. I was raised to be polite and to hold my tongue. He thinks that I should stop caring about what others think and not waste my time tolerating things i'm not happy with, and speak up, but if i did i'd be as rude as him. To give you some examples of the kinds of things hes done; his mother would call round unexpectedly sometimes in the evenings, one i caught her looking through the letterbox! i told him i was unhappy with this and i wished she'd stop doing it. He told her. I was so embarrassed and he just said "what? i've told her, you said you wished she'd stop, i've told her you don't like it." but it was mortifying and I think i hurt her feelings and i had to try and explain.My mother was talking about going to a garden centre and kept telling us we should go and spent ages talking about it. it was a bit boring but i was saying "hey, maybe one day..." He turned around and said "but Carol, we're really not interested and we don't want to go, so stop asking us." i was mortified and mum was mad. My sister recently got a tattoo, it WAS horrible, but i pretended it was okay. My partner said "i think its horrible, why did you get that done? it looks cheap and you looked better before. Don't get anymore." then he upset my sister.He's even upset his own friends with it- telling one of his close friends he could "do a lot better" than his jobless girlfriend of 6 years. He sees pretending you like something or somebody you don't as "dishonest" and "two faced" and he believes you should speak your mind, but it comes across as him being over critical and downright rudeness, and often people see my sweet partner as arrogant and antisocial because of it. How can I make him see?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 April 2008):
 He is not good at being hypocrisy but in calling a spade a spade.
It can be frank and honest but can be insulting and rude sometimes.
It depends on which society you come from.
You can ask him to think and use the right words before he opens his mouth.
This kind of guy is very strong willed and will not listen to anyone.
When he loses all his friends , then he will start to learn how to talk in your language.
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