A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a gay relationship for four years and only a week ago did we discuss the reasons as to why my partner never wants sex of any kind and I mean nothing in four years. It has been so bad I decided to accept that I would remain celibate for the rest of my days. Then he tells me he does not like the whole idea of sex because of the mess it makes and someone has to clean it up.....I never. I couldn't believe what I had heard. That was the sad excuse for no sex and never ever masturbating in front of me or even alone. He is shy, but my god he is 38 years old and surely has some needs--they have requirements. As a result I have become addicted to internet porn and can spend as much as 9 hours of a working day on the net. As far as this subject goes, we are both reading from different books. He knows about me and the internet and I think he finds it a bit of a relief that I can at least escape there for any sexual pleasures. He assures me that he has never been sexually abused in any which way or had any bad situations that he has found himself in. He is full of guilt because of this problem and the last thing I want is anything like that. I want to help him but he is just too shy and the problem with me is I am just the opposite. What's a gay guy to do???d
View related questions:
celibate, porn, shy, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dr. Surgel  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Dear dYour boyfriend has very obvious intimacy issues, so be careful for his sake about the way you handle any discussions you have about your/his sex life. Firstly, he has been intimate with you by just discussing this very personal problem, knowing himself that there is probably some psychological problem involved.Secondly, your boyfriend may not be comfortable being gay. Encourage him to have sex-counselling. Thirdly, you may need to eventually find a new boyfriend, but that doesn't mean you can't still support your current boyfriend while he is addressing his issues.Best,Dr. Surgel
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): I don't understand how you have put up with being in a (I'm assuming) loving, caring relayionship with someone who won't give it up for four years. Intamacy is a must in a relationship. I hope the best for you, but maybe its time to look for a new partner. I always thought the mess was half the fun!
...............................
|
