A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner and i have been together 9 years. Recently he has been moody, snappy and seems only to be happy when he's having a go at me. We have 3 kids and he has no time for them either. My friends say he either is cheating or he wants to leave but is convienient for him to stay. Everything is my fault according to him and i am seriously unhappy. i have tried talking to him but it doesnt work. Any advice u can give me, please?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (17 April 2007):
 Unless (and I regard this as very unlikely) your guy is willing to go to some serious counseling with you, I think you should start thinking seriously about the damage that this situation is doing to your children and you. There are some partnerships that simply cannot be saved.
Even if he does not agree to counseling, I would strongly recommend that you seek some guidance for yourself. You are going to need some external sources and strength in the time to come, and although you probably have family and friends you can turn to, it's always useful to have an outside perspective, a professional, to make you see things about your situation that you amy be missing.
Give it an honest try, keeping it together with him, but in the end, be ready to pull the plug before he can do irreparable damage to you and your kids.
A
female
reader, elsie +, writes (17 April 2007):
 maybe at the very least you can get him to see the doctor to discount the possibility that he may be suffering from depression of some sort.he needs to understand that not only is he bringing himself down but you and the kids and its not healthy for them to grow up in this oppressive behaviour.he is suffocating you and you will end up getting more and more resentful and angry and it could all blow up in your faces.tell him you feel like you are walking on eggshells.if it is getting ubearable maybe suggest a break of a couple of weeks and see what his reaction is.maybe some time apart will make him see what hes got to lose.good luck.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (17 April 2007):
 I am so sorry. I went through something like that too and ended up making the painful decision to get divorced. My husband had no time for us at all. I felt like I was a single Mom most of the time. He was angry and blamed me for everything. If I tried to talk to him he twisted everything around to be my fault -even his increasingly violent behavior! His violence was my fault according to him, I drove him to it! Once I made the decision to divorce him you want to know his first reaction? He began telling me what I needed to do to save the marriage! Not offering what HE could do, but telling me what I should do! He then began threatening me that I had better reconcile or he would make my life hell. He has been increasingly delusional and has done everything he can to fulfill his promice to make my life hell. We still arent quite done with the divorce, and I cant wait till we are. I wish I had done this sooner and not waisted half my life on this man. If your man is willing to go into counceling with you you may have a shot. Mine wouldnt, he said he didnt need counceling as everything was my fault.
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