A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 6 years, and in most aspects of our relationship we are a normal happy couple. However, I know he looks at a lot of online pornography. I am quite open to this, and feel quite happy looking with him sometimes and respect his right as another human being to look at whatever he wants. But I can't help feeling degraded by it, and I know when I'm out, he looks at sites he wouldn't normally with me, usually 'teen' ones, which I find disgusting, even if the girls are over 18, it makes me feel old and undesireable. (I'm only 23 as it is!) I think I am attractive but it all really dents my self esteem. He says there is nothing sexually I am not providing, but I can't help but think there is. Why does he need this secrecy when I am open to it anyway? I can't help but think something else is going on! I have tried talking about it, but he gets very defensive and angry. I don't know what to do, it's been really making me upset, please help.
View related questions:
porn, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2007): Unfortunately for the anyonymous responder below...women dont always want to be recieving the fallout of a mans lust for another woman...believe it or not this has nothing to do with God for most women but more to do with respect and the fact that recent studies have shown that even mild exposure to porn reduces a mans perception of his partners attractiveness....if you think most women want to have sex with a man and recieve the 'fallout' after watching porn as seeing her as less attractive than the porn women then sorry but your sadly mistaken...Most women want and expect to be his number one...and not simply because the woman he just masterbated to in the porn movie is not availble to him but rather..because he sees the real life woman as sexier and more desirable than any woman in porn.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): There seems to be a tendency in America, and elsewhere to paint all Porn. black. Well then again there is the Porn of one's mind regardless of one's Sexual Preferences. I dare say. If we could play our mind Porn upon on the Wide-screen, they might just lock up most of us. Yes, Sometimes these, Porn, Web sites are quite rank for young people to be viewing, But on the other hand these Web sites may be the only way that some of us can learn a little about our Human Sexuality. Do I watch Internet Porn? Yes! Yes! Yes!, But I also read "Good Sex Books" Just to help me sort things out, and keep a healthy, mental, sexual balance. It has been said that nudity, such as Porn doesn't turn on a woman's sexual arousal, But then they tell you lots of things that are not true. Gee! We have lots of God's Goody two-shoes out there who want to control your sex life from womh to tomb. And the big trend with them is that you can change your sexual-make-up that you were born into. Well there is always the blind leading the blind, as the Good-Book, The Bible, says. But even the Bible is used to fill the needs and greeds of these Goody two-shoes. So be aware of those who would like to castrate the normal,healthy sexual arousal that a Lovig God has given to both his created gender. I too know how you must feel degraded by the Porno.I too feel the same way when I look at Porno. but it does have its up-side, Inasmuch as us men often need to get all the help we can get in our mental, sexual arousal. We need to get our penis up, and to keep it up, a nice, hard, firm erections,that is. and be able to keep it up long enough to please a woman. All of our sexuality begins in our mind, So why would you want to turn of his sexual arousal before he can shares it with you? He isn't making love to the Porno. And even if he is, you are the one who is getting the fall-out of his passion. Is It any different? When you are making Love to him, And there is another mind body in your head and in your bed. Do Hope that I have been helpful you have a healthy normal guy. So just love him as he is, Okay. And God Bless the Both of You.
...............................
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 If you were satisfying him, he wouldn't need to look at porn. The only time I've seen someone in a relationship look at porn is when they were doing it together, looking for more ways to please each other. I don't think that you should be with him. He may have an addiction to sex.
DV1
...............................
A
female
reader, sad mum of 4 +, writes (25 May 2007):
It could be he is up to a lot more then he should be. You need to look into this a lot more. You are a young lady, so why would he want to look at even younger somethings? Not quite right. So go with what your heart's telling you and you will do the right thing. Good luck.
...............................
|
