A
female
age
51-59,
*aneywayney
writes:Am I mad or what???I've been with my partner 20 years, we're not married. We have two kids, 18 and 16.Anyway, three or four months ago, he was ill suffering from anxiety. Turns out he has been seeing another women - well, girl actually. She's 22 - we're 38. He said he was in love with her and didnt know whether to leave me for this girl. Turns out shes a prostitute!!! I rang her and gave her a good talking to she told me he has been to other prostitutes, as well. When I asked him, he said no at first and then admitted he had only been to three!!!Now he is begging for me to forgive him. What the hell do I do? I'm so sick that I'm litterally sick when I think of another women touching him.I don't belive he has only seen three, either, as i didn't catch him. How will I know if there are more? Also, the guilt of falling for this young girl is the only reason I'm finding all this out now. Please help me make the right decision!
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female
reader, janeywayney +, writes (20 September 2007):
janeywayney is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys we have talked and talked and it seems really weierd coz 1 minute im up the next i feel like im in the gutter. he is saying the 22 yr old made him laugh and he felt sorry for her, i can see how you can be attracted to someone else. i dont think he knew the reprecussions of his actions until the truth came out. he is a very strong man with hard feelings so to see him cry and saying forgive me is very hard for me. i have drawn a line whats happened b4 that line stays there and wait and see what happens after the line.Tuatara did you stay with your man or did it not work out? again many thanks for your replys xxxxx
A
female
reader, kindone  +, writes (20 September 2007):
 all i can say is two things kick his butt out and get checked for stds
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): Hi thereI can totally feel for you in this situation, as I have had a similar. The only advice I can give you is to give yourself time to comprehend and get to grips with this news.If your partner is genuine in his desire to continue the relationship with you, you need to take time to work out what is best for you. He should wait and get some sort of counselling to work out what he is trying to acheive with his behaviour. It sucks. One thing I felt at the time after discovering the news was a huge pressure to "make a decision" It was that pressure that actually stopped me from getting my head together and working out what to do. So, take time, talk and talk and talk to him about how this is soul destroying and ask him what he plans to do now to get "fixed" You still do not need to say that you are staying or going. Everyday things will start to clear and it will be easier for you to work out what you what to do now.All the very best and don't make any decisions unless yourready to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): I think you would be very unwise to stay with this bloke, you dont know who he has been with or for how long this has been going on. What about all the diseases that you could of caught? HIV? He hasn't given a second thought to you, so why give a one to him. You have been together a long time and have two grown up kids, now is the time to move on and get a future with him. You do deserve better. I wouldnt give him any more chances.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): This guy probably knew his time lying to you was nearly up, this is where his anxiety started, panicking that he would be found out.This is not good, this man even had the cheek to think he has a choice whether or not to leave you for this prostitute? Make his choice for him. He has disrespected you in the most hurtful way possible and risked you catching something nasty at the same time. Your children are old enough to understand your dilemma and am sure would be disgusted to hear what their dad has been up to behind your back.I know this will be really hard for as you have had a very long relationship, but you dont know how long this has been going on for and if you did continue the relationship it would also be on your mind all the time, ending up with being in conflict all the time and many more unhappy years.I think you know what you need to do but you are seeking others to agree with you so you do not feel irrational. Im with you all the way. Have no mercy.
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