A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My partner likes to contact gay men by text email or various websites. He says its harmless fun, I have told him I cannot deal with this and he promises never to do it again, he has broken this promise now on 6 occasions, saying he is not doing anything wrong as he is not seeing them just flirting. Am I being a prude if I have told him how much this hurts me, even threatened to move out as I just can't deal with the thought, but still he keeps doing it after drinking. . Is this normal, should I just accept it, Apart from this everything else in our lives is ok.
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (4 March 2008):
 LEAVE NOW!!!!!!
this is a damaging situation and this is a consistently recurring behaviour pattern that anyone in their right mind would consider grounds for ending a relationship on. He has no respect for you.
to stay would be very desperate and sad....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): I'm worried that this is a sign of an unadmitted sexual preference. Please look at this website and i hope this helps you see your partner with some clarity.
http://www.voy.com/86426/
Please, please, please take care of yourself! And I would suggest that you not have any unprotected sex until you know that your partner has only been with you.
You may need couples counseling to deal with this; if he won't go with you, start on your own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): No this is not normal, far from it. Equally his comments that it is nothing but flirting is ridiculous.
It is wrong, it is not normal for a happy partner to do anything like this at all. He also has lied and broken promises to you about it, so that is also wrong.
The thing which you have not mentioned which I think is alot more serious at the moment is the WHY.
Is he bisexual and you do not know, is he gay? what on earth is he? And does he know? Your last line in your post said that everything else is okay in your lives, come on honey - you must be joking or not seeing it.
I think if you do not get to the bottom of this pretty quickly you are in for some heartache. There is nothing normal about his behaviour and you know it. Your both in some sort of denial about what he is up to and the whys.
It will be your decision whether you accept it, but I get the feeling that that may not be the only thing you are going to have to accept if you stay with this man for much longer!
All the best and take a step back from this relationship and think about really what could be looming.
xxxx
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