A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i've been dating this guy for a couple of months. I am 23 and he is 21. But he's a virgin. I knew it even before we started dating, but i didn't think it was important. I'm not a very sexual person but still, eventually i'm gonna want to do it. And i don't know if he will. He has had girlfriends before but never done it. And he told me once something about him wanting his first time to be special. But kind of saying that he wasn't going to do it soon. I really like the guy, and in all my serious relationships sex has always been a part of it. What do i do ?? i'm confused. Is not that sex is everything in a relationship, but it is a part. What if i try and he doesn't want? or maybe i should just accept the fact that is never going to happen ?? or what can i do ?? i've talked to him about this and he never seems comfortable talking about it. Help! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011): From a virgin:
If he is not confortable talking about it, maybe he is confortable doing it.
If you have more experience, help him learn what to do.
Every guy is different.Let us know if this worked...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice and: Yes he is affectionate in other ways. In fact he's the sweetest guy i ever met. And well i really haven't talked much about being intimate because he gets all weird when the topic comes up. I know is not about him wanting to be virgin til marriage. But then i don't know what it is.
...............................
A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (6 July 2011):
i would hold off for a couple more month if he gets uncomfortable talking about it he will be just as uncomfortable with actually having sex sex is not a main part of a relationship i would spend some time together and get comfortable with each other and get to know each other better kiss cuddle if sex happens then it happens when you are both happy and comfortable with each other good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (6 July 2011):
 I would not go thru the motions of romance and seduction if he is clearly not comfortable with talking about his sexuality. He may end up feeling pressured.
He may not be confortable with his sexuality. Is he affectionate in other ways? Have you told him that you want to be closer to him and asked him how he feels about the two of you becoming sexually intimate someday?
If he is never comfortable talking about it, he is not going to be comfortable with the act itself.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 July 2011):
 I guess he doesn't feel comfortable talking about it because he is not sure what to say. Nerves probably play a huge part in this as well. Don't just spring it on him out of the blue. Try having more romantic nights in. I am guessing that you both have a place where you can spend time together alone? Light some candles and put on something sexy. Open a bottle of wine. Put on some relaxing music and see how things go. Be clear to him though that he doesn't need to do anything he is not comfortable with.
If he refuses to have sex with you well then at this stage there is nothing else that you can do except for talk to him and just ask him clean out when does he think he will be ready. Maybe he wants to wait for marriage or maybe he is just very nervous as he doesn't know what to do. Either way you need to ask him what is stopping him and ask him to be honest.
...............................
|
