A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My partner and i have been staying at my parents house for about 2 months now while we find a place. But I'm also 29 weeks pregnant, at first they all got along fine, but now my partner is constantly putting them down to me and being all friendly to them, he thinks they do things on purpose to annoy and hurt him, but i know they don't, they love him. He hates my mum most days and now doesn't even want her there to witness our baby being born. Some days are different some times he is nice and happy and looks like he loves them both, but when mum says something that makes him unhappy, even if i don't see what it is, he expects me to get up her for him, 'cause he says its what he would do to his mum. Now he doesn't want me to go anywhere with her when his at work, cause he thinks she's an idiot, and I'm sick of breaking my mums heart, please help me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Let me get this straight first. Your bf dislikes the very people who have nicely opened their home to him and given him a place to live?? Are you both are kicking in some rent, water power and grocery money to Mom and Dad? I hope so. Your bf is sleeping under their roof and he is belittling them, getting annoyed Wow. I imagine that Mom and Dad don't need the extra grief of having such an ungracious man like this, in their midst. Hun, there is a type of person out there who does not understand the meaning of graciousness and gratitude..I think he's one of them. Your parents will soon be the grandparents to this child, and if your Mother wants to be part of the birth experience, you have a right to have her there. If your Mother wants to go places with you, then you both do it, together. Why are you letting this guy control you? Tell him to stop masquerading his immaturity for sensitivity to whatever is said to him, by your parents. And tell him he's not the center of the universe and that you need him to grow up and behave like an honorable, appreciative man.
It's time for you to be strong and set some huge, huge boundaries with this bf of yours.. These are your parents, they love and cherish you, and they are helping you both out. Tell your bf he is not to say any more negative, critical belittling comments about them. Take a stand. Tell him it hurts you to the very core and you don't need this stress at 29 weeks pregnant. You are having this man's child soon..you will be connected to him for life. That rest of your life depends greatly, on what you do with moments like this. Put a stop to this. Your bf is wrong and he's shaking up your family with his toxic behavior and could be possibly trying to make a huge effort to 'poison' you against them. How indecent and disrespectful of him.
A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (4 April 2008):
 Hi,
this is one situation where I would love to hear both sides of the story. I say this because you make it look a little one sided.
You say your parents love him to bits yet she says things that "make him unhappy". This could be construed as a little contradictory don't you think?
Now I may be wrong, and he is being a total arse , in which case I apologise and advise that you tell him that your parents are helping you out and he can at least show some respect until you are able to get yourselves back on your feet and into your own home.
But I just have a little hesitation in advising you tell him to show some respect as you make your mum seem a little too rosy. So I just wonder if your partner is feeling left out of the family group and made to feel like an outsider.
If he really is being a jerk and everything he says about your mum is flat out false then tell him to reign his head in and be grateful you have family to rely on. But if some of what he says is true then you do owe it to him to stand up for him on occasion- otherwise who else has he got to turn too, and moreover when you do move out he will most likely carry that resentment into your new home - where you will be relying on him to support you and your baby.
good luck anyway
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