A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 32, my partner's 34, we've been together for 4 years now.Our sex life's been on the wane recently since my partner found a new fetish... nylon. He sits looking at pictures of it and people wearing it on the computer (doesn't matter who to him), masturbating over it, he even wears it, and wants me to wear it in bed when we have sex! He said to me he needs to have nylon in order to get an erection - bizarre, he never had problems before now. He's even began spending a fair bit of dosh on nylon clothes from various shops, especially the local JJB Sports and other shops in the local area. He's also got this fetish with swimsuits [women's] too, and he asked me once to wear one before we had sex - I happily obliged, thinking it's a fairly tame request but then it went on to him wearing them, and w**king over pictures of them, rather than the women wearing them! This bit is grossing me out a bit... I mean, if your partner did it how would you feel? Yes, he's even bought himself some from the local Primark and a friend of mine said she saw him trying one on [or attempting to] in the local M and S here in Manchester!I think, at least, thank god it's not porn he's viewing, but this is concerning me. In fact, he seems uninterested in porn, but anything relating to nylon or swimsuits gets him hot under the collar.I've tried to ask him why he has this fetish, but he seems unable to explain.He's a lovely bloke, kind, caring, but I'm worrying about how long before this goes from fetish to obsession, it seems a little bit odd, I'm worrying if he'll progress to other, weirder fetishes.I need your help, how do I handle this, all help will be appreciated. I just don't know where to go from here.
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male
reader, MrNylon  +, writes (18 June 2014):
First:
SCHLC? (The first answer)
Would it be possible for you to be MORE sexist? And yup, I'm male.
To the question:
There is absolutely NO WAY your boyfriend started this fetish just recently. It's my understanding (and YES, firsthand knowledge) that fetishes do NOT develop overnight, and that more than likely, despite what he tells you, he's had this for quite a while.
It IS a fairly harmless fetish, but it certainly can get monotonous for the partner, especially if this becomes the only way for him to achieve arousal. You would have to be almost as "into it" as he is for this type of relationship to work out.
My suggestion would be to sit down with him and tell him you're willing to indulge HIM, if he's willing to indulge YOU, just as often. And if "indulging you" simply means having good ol' regular sex, then you have the right to expect THAT just as often as he expects YOU to indulge HIS fetish. Otherwise, he's being extremely selfish. And if that's the case, chances are there are more places than the bedroom where he's selfish. So, this relationship is most likely either doomed, or is definitely going to get more and more tedious for you.
Nylon is a fairly common fetish with men, oftentimes just seeing women wearing pantyhose, but it sounds like your boyfriend's kink goes beyond a "simple" nylon fetish. It sounds as if he also has a SLIGHT cross-dressing kink, too. If you indulge his fetish, say...50% of the time, his fetish will more than likely grow more, now that knows how accepting you are, and will branch out in other areas.
Maybe a qualified sex therapist could help, and perhaps your boyfriend will begin to open up with his OTHER kinks, too. When you hear his other, as yet unannounced fetishes, then you'll have much more information to make a good decision on your enthusiasm, or lack thereof, of his sexual peccadillos.
GOOD LUCK!
A
male
reader, schlc0899 +, writes (28 August 2012):
A man’s perspective:
As far as your partner wearing swimsuits, that is an issue that makes no scene to me. I would not be caught dead with a woman's swimsuit on. However, I am a man that is extremely stimulated by stocking and nylons. You can call it a fetish but, I feel that "Fetish" is a word for something the majority doesn’t understand. Anyway, the best way I can describe why men like this kind of fetish so much is because we are stimulated by sight, touch and sometimes sound. kind of like how women are stimulated by feelings and emotions. For a man stockings and nylons are sight and touch which is stimulating and arousing, this triggers a feeling of being wanted by the wearer. It is like she is saying (with out saying) that she wants to be stimulating for me cause she loves me. My best analogy would be the feeling of protection a woman has when being snuggled by her man. Some men are more stimulated by stockings and nylons than others for various reasons. I think for me it is due to having adult ADD. My wife would wear nylons and stockings for me often in the beginning of our marriage. However, after being diagnosed with mental illness (which runs in her family), She no longer is willing to, even with sex and she won't compromise. This has been extremely harsh for me and hurting our relationship. There have been several times I have been tempted by other women who want to wear nylons and stocking for me. However, I have stayed faithful to my wife. Even with my commitment, I constantly feel that I can't stay in my marriage for much longer without some compromise with her ho this issue. So, my advice is to compromise with him on the nylon and stocking issue, unless you don't mind wearing them, then no compromise is needed. Tell him how turned off and grossed out you are when he wears lady's swimsuits, but wear something he likes with stockings or pantyhose while telling him. If he doesn't want to stop wearing the swimsuits, then you either have to live with it or leave him. Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, schlc0899 +, writes (28 August 2012):
A man’s perspective:As far as your partner wearing swimsuits, that is an issue that makes no scene to me. I would not be caught dead with a woman's swimsuit on. However, I am a man that is extremely stimulated by stocking and nylons. You can call it a fetish but, I feel that "Fetish" is a word for something the majority doesn’t understand. Anyway, the best way I can describe why men like this kind of fetish so much is because we are stimulated by sight, touch and sometimes sound. kind of like how women are stimulated by feelings and emotions. For a man stockings and nylons are sight and touch which is stimulating and arousing, this triggers a feeling of being wanted by the wearer. It is like she is saying (with out saying) that she wants to be stimulating for me cause she loves me. My best analogy would be the feeling of protection a woman has when being snuggled by her man. Some men are more stimulated by stockings and nylons than others for various reasons. I think for me it is due to having adult ADD. My wife would wear nylons and stockings for me often in the beginning of our marriage. However, after being diagnosed with mental illness (which runs in her family), She no longer is willing to, even with sex and she won't compromise. This has been extremely harsh for me and hurting our relationship. There have been several times I have been tempted by other women who want to wear nylons and stocking for me. However, I have stayed faithful to my wife. Even with my commitment, I constantly feel that I can't stay in my marriage for much longer without some compromise with her ho this issue. So, my advice is to compromise with him on the nylon and stocking issue, unless you don't mind wearing them, then no compromise is needed. Tell him how turned off and grossed out you are when he wears lady's swimsuits, but wear something he likes with stockings or pantyhose while telling him. If he doesn't want to stop wearing the swimsuits, then you either have to live with it or leave him. Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 June 2012):
 I suggest that you and he sit down, sometime when things are not "hot and heavy".... and you show him a copy of this submittal....and ask him, "Hey, (his name here), I made this submittal, and I'd like to get your opinion of it. I like you... but don't understand some things about you.... Care to comment?"
It COULD open the door to good and important discussion between you (two).... OR, it could result in the two of you determining that there are "problems" between you... which problems you may not be able to reconcile.
Either way, you (and he) "owe it" to yourselves to have such a converstaion....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, licallion  +, writes (3 June 2012):
Hiya, first of all by the sounds of it you have been very caring for him and supportive which is great.
You are probably hoping that this fetish disintegrates into nothing sooner rather than later.
maybe its the feel of the material or maybe its the way it looks on people, as it is very smooth and shiny.
you should try confronting him being honest and direct about how it is making you feel. That you are a little uncomfortable and your glad that he has found something that really interests him but your a little unconfortable and just hear what he has to say.
Remain calm during the interaction and see how it goes
Let me know if this helps
Lisa
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