A
female
age
36-40,
*ickedrachel
writes:My 2nd anniversary is coming up, but me and my partner have been arguing a lot for the last couple of weeks. i love him to bits and want to resolve things but he seems to be laid back and he says he dont care if we break up. I buy him everything and he is a lovely man but i feel he does not love me anymore! How could i resovle this? I want this to work so much, he is my first relationship, i am 22, he is my life!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): You have a big problem. You are right on the money...you love a man who doesn't love you back. It's so disheartening to read your posting because you sound so pained and distaught over a uy who couldn't care less. I also sense deeply that you are equating the need to be wanted by this guy...with your self-esteem. It drives me bonkers to hear from lovely girl like yourself who describes her man's unloving words and uncaring actions by pacifying herself with the word...but "I love him'. Yet you fear losing him. Hun, there is absolutly no love when there is fear. All there is---is neediness, a ton of fear and desperation. That is what is keeping you with this cad. You are simply tolerating what you shouldn't and you need to change what you should. And that is to come to the ralization that you can't make anyone 'love' you and that you can muster up the courage to leave this ungrateful man and go make a much happier, healthier existance for yourself without him. Just my opinion...take it or leave it. I am sorry..he's not for you. Take care dear and be strong.
A
female
reader, Lady Destiny* +, writes (5 March 2007):
Dear TroubledHave you confronted him?Him reacting this way shows he has very little feeling or is hiding something. If i were you i would wait and see what he does for your anniversary before reacting to his actions. He seems to be very self centered but i would try and rekindle some of those things what you both used to have. He will soon realise he has been a jerk and hopefully will treat you with respect! If not then you deserve better you may think he is your life but i guarantee you will meet someone who loves you for you and will treasure you always.Hope all works out..let me know how it goes!Lady Destiny*
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