A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm so confused and don't know what to do. I have been with my partner for 3 years and I love him so much. He is a lot older than me. In the past, women have taken him for a ride and he finds it hard to trust anyone and this has affected his temper somewhat. He gets mad and screams and shouts at me, he hits me and throws me about, he tells me he hates me and that he is going to kill me, then he calms down and says he is sorry and he loves me and couldn't live without me. I always forgive him and tell him that it's ok and he promises that it will never happen again. He is usually fine for a few weeks then it happens again. My friends tell me to get out and leave him but I don't want to be without him and I don't think I could handle him being with someone else. Please help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Luaris  +, writes (29 December 2008):
 I have to agree with everyone else telling you to leave him. But Id also like to add that even though staying with him is the WRONG thing to do maybe you could tell him you two WILL BE taking a break where you can still stay in contact but not necessarily be "together" until he seeks some sort of counseling or therapy which is what he desperately needs. Im not saying anything definitely but it could possibly fix things with him. But again you certainly SHOULD NOT stay with him in these conditions.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): please look at hiddenhurt.co.uk This website helped me a lot by showing the spiral / chain of abuse and how we can break free.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): he is never going to change and as icelordess has stated he will only get worse. So what if hes had bad experiences in the past? hes giving u a terrible experience now! 3 yrs is a very long time and for him to do that to you is just destroying your self esteem and any belief you have. You are stronger than him so leave... a man that does that to someone he apparently loves is not worth the pain or the time!
sorry to b so blunt and i know its easy for other people to say leave but you need to admit to yourself the abuse will never end. you deserve to be loved properly not part time
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