A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm an 18 year old guy heading off to university next year. My parents and I have had some fallouts in the past, due to our disagreements over how to fund my education. My parents did not save up enough money to pay for my university. However, their income is very high now and they are more then capable of helping me pay and then let me pay them back.I have worked two jobs, as well funded my own side projects to save up for my education. They have given me nothing but grief for working these jobs, complaining about the late hours, telling me to have fun while I'm young, and urging me to quit. As you can see, their money philosophy does not match their parenting philosophy. How am I suppose to pay for university when my parents get on my case constantly for having jobs?! I am trying everything I can, and I just cant get the support.I still do not have enough money. And yet, they are forcing me to go to a very expensive religious retreat which is costing them over a thousand dollars. I am so frustrated that they can waste so much of their own money on this, when it could be going toward my education. What can I do in this situation?
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 April 2013):
 Nothing I'm afraid. It is their money, you cannot force them to spend it on your education. Equally, they cannot force you to quit your job though - so you can keep on working and saving money yourself, but you cant make them give you money for your education.There is not a lot else you can do, just keep working and keep saving and hopefully you will get the money soon to go to University.Have you tried talking to them? Have you actually asked them to give you a loan and you will pay them back? They might not realise that you just want a loan from them, they might think that you want them to pay for everything and not get anything back from you. So try talking to them again about it, explain you are working these long hours to fund your education but you havent saved enough money yet, so would they be able to lend you the shortfall and you pay them back after University? If they say no, well you just have to carry on doing it by yourself I'm afraid.
A
female
reader, LaceratedReality  +, writes (16 April 2013):
When it comes down to it; they are the parents and you are the child. It is their money because they worked for it and they can spend it how they see fit. I suggest you keep working if you want to go to University, after all it is your education.
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A
male
reader, fzald +, writes (16 April 2013):
Are you of age? Your age says you're 18-21, so you'd be of legal adult age. If that's the case, and I know this is MUCH easier said than done, but if you're 18, your parents really cannot "force" you to go to any event. That being said, though, yes the US government system does make it very difficult for students who need financial help when their parents won't help them pay. The system unfortunately does not have must sympathy for this situation. You can Google "parents won't pay for college" to read some more about the situation.Depending on the relationship you have with your parents, you may be able to talk with them. You have to make it extremely clear that the education system expects parental participation from parents who have sufficient income - that's part of the responsibility parents take on when they have children, no different from having to pay for their medical care, buy their food and clothes, and provide a safe home while they're children. You may be able to call your university's financial aid office and get some documentation you can show your parents. (Remember, you have to fill out a FAFSA if you want to qualify for ANY government aid at all.)Unfortunately the only option you may have if your parents flat out refuse to help is to take out a student loan. The good news is student loans are very forgiving. Generally, while you're a student, you don't have to pay anything on your loan, even during the summer. It is possible that you may qualify for subsidized loans, which do not even accumulate interest while you're in classes. There are also loans that your parents must co-sign, but which have even lower interest rates and where you can assume the responsibility after you graduate, so your parents really won't have to be responsible unless YOU screw them over.Either way, you shouldn't have to be in a situation where you're overworking yourself just to save money to pay for an education. Again, check with your school's office and let them know the situation. They should be able to help you figure out some sort of workable solution.Good luck!
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