A
female
age
36-40,
*bhinaya
writes:I was committed with a guy for 2 years. I even lost my virginity. I belong to a very constraint hindu family and so my parents were against my love. My guy was getting worser every day and we broke up but now they want me to get married to some other guy. I feel guilty to get married as I am not a virgin.. Please suggest me some idea. Is it ok to get married?
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female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (23 June 2009):
 Ok i know about indian culture and if your not a virgin its a big bad thing for the parents.
the first thing is you have 3 options;
option 1 -is be honest with the guy your parents find for you, tell him you have had a bf before, is this an issue for him? (more than likely it will be) but if you are honest then you wont feel guilty and cheat him.
option2 -you can lie. some girls who are not virgin and get married, they say something like they were virgin but then their hymen was already broke from excersise, or tampons
option 3 - you can go for surgery and get your hymen stiched up (as is common in middle east) that way you can remain a "virgin" and not feel so guilty towards your future husband
im not saying any of the above are good answers. they are just options you have.
to me honesty is the best thing because, when u marry u have to have love for the partner, and with love there is no lies, you have to be honest with them.
so for me i would say option1 . but every girl is different and you have to decide what you want.
you shouldnt rush into marriage straight away because you still sound hurt from your previous bf. try and get over this then pursue a partner.
it is ok to get married whether you are virgin or not virgin, the most important thing is the guy you marry likes you for YOU.
good luck.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 June 2009):
 Do your parents want an arranged marriage?
I'm not familiar with the traditional Hindu culture and what is expected of the bride to be in this day and age.
Do you think they know you aren't a virgin?
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