A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,My father and mother are not showing affection on myself since my marriage. They have misunderstanding with my wife in the years since my marriage Maybe a decade. I could not feel peaceful since I feel like my parents are against me and they are not even showing affection on my child since his birth. With my younger brother's family totally and 100% opposite to this. i.e 100% support to them and 100% love them. The cause is they do not like my wife's approach since marriage and totally hate her.360 degree hatred towards her which made them to develop hatred with me too over a period of time. I could not balance them even though I have tried several times, several steps. My parents are charging me as culprit on this, as they comment I only spoiled my wife to behave like this or extended her a lot of uncontrolled freedom against family ethics. I have failed in trying a balance between them- past years. Finally now I have landed in mental agony, no peace, no happiness. Not even a single day gone without a worry on this. Every day being full of worries, depression, etc because of this situation. I feel like parents have become acting against me and even I could not share the professional growth of me with them as they look me in a different way now a days. I feel like they won’t consider to hear my professional growth or even hear don't care about it, why because they feel like I have totally become inclined towards my wife and my in law's and not at all respecting them / honouring them/go in line with their wishes. I believe they might feel like my wife is the one totally benefiting out of myself and not at all respecting/ considering/go in line with their expectations. Even I could not share the salary I am getting with my parents. I also think they feel like I am hiding my income and doing something without supporting them much. But I am sending some % out of my income to them every month.Whenever there are any functions in my family they do not forget to tell me do this, do that ...etc.. But when I keep some function they are not supporting much. My parents live 750Kms away from me. My brother family with my parents. My MUM like too much my brother's wife because she knows how to approach her / manipulate her / impress her as she is my MUM's brother's daughter. But my wife is totally an innocent girl/ not properly groomed girl by her parents to socialize with people/ how to understand and behave with people/ what is the importance of in laws and how to approach and show respectful to them / act in line with their requirements/ Never thought about how to impress my parents/ Even her parents has not advised her till now to impress my parents/ such a blessed family I got even in my marital life. I feel like I am too much un lucky to have a unaffectionate father and mother secondly again I am unlucky having got a immature or improperly groomed wife/improper set up wife i.e against family ethics- How to treat/behave with her in law's i.e my parents/ Short temper wife/in-tolerance wife/talkative wife/not listening to husband most of the times especially on some issues time/Not think about how to impress husband wife/ immature or not properly groomed father in law including mother in law.. It is because of in-adequate/improper advice from them my wife got spoiled which I need to comment at this moment... now I feel like I am not lucky enough to get neither a affectionate parents nor well groomed, family ethics oriented wife or in law's. I am worry much worried on this as my life is totally under a miserable situation now and I am in deep depression and anxiety now because of this. As such I got some health related issues.Actually I am a good gentle man-More sensitive-emotional... that is the reason I got all these above assets... Slowly am recovering out of above health issues now got relieved out. Gradually from other issues too I will get relieved very soon... But I feel unless these worries family oriented are sorted out, it will land me in health issues. Which I don’t want... i want to live happily and peacefully till my end and also wish to give others the same... knowingly or unknowingly I have been landing in a deep regret even for small small issues...since my child hood... that had given me hypertension etc.. I wish to help people. And wish to do many good things to people. Who are in real need of it...? But see my story... with all these wishes in my mind... first of all i am not leading a peaceful and happy life...My life is totally in miserable condition now...Even i am not lucky enough to have a good sexual companion wife. I am not lucky in these ways 1) By not having Affectionate parents 2) By not having Affectionate / respectful/ good sexual companion wife 3) By not having Good in law's..... I don’t know why I got landed like this.... But in the midst of this I wish to live peacefully, happily and healthily... with God's blessings... This is about my story...Can anyone write their recommendations on this issues please....
View related questions:
immature, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, frustrated wife  +, writes (2 April 2013):
I read you message and it seems to me that you are happy enough with your wife - she pleases you but it is your parents are unhappy. They don't like that your wife doesn't behave the way they'd like her to behave.Well, that doesn't matter! Your wife is your wife, not their wife, and if they are unhappy that isn't your problem.If *you* are happy with her then that is all that is important.Tell your parents to accept your wife for how she is, and that that will make everything better. Saying this to your parents will also make your wife more attracted to you - all women want a man that will be their hero! Be her hero and you will see that she is more sexually interested in you.I think what you have to do is ignore the old customs and go for the new customs, as long as your wife is loyal to you and loves you and helps you in your life then there is no problem, right?good luck to you, I also have bad in-laws and mean parents, so I know how it is. My husband needs to tell his parents to stop hurting me, too, and when he does our lives will be much happier!
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (23 March 2013):
 HI
I understand your frustration, but I can also see why your parents are not happy either. They raised you, gave you everything you needed in life, but you chose a spoiled woman to be your wife and forgot your parents respect. It seems no one is happy not even your happy with your wife. so why continue to be with her? I don't think your parents will ever forgive your wife for whatever it is she has done because they see she does not respect you or your family only her own. I think you need to make a choice as hard as it is your wife or your family?.....may sound harsh but I think it's the only way your going to ever be happy again.
Mandy x
...............................
|
