A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hy. Since i was born, i never saw my parents together. They quarrel everyday, first thing that i hear every morning when i wake up is their noise. My mum is not at a good position right now. She is always complaining about my dad (when he is not around) on us. She has no 'thank you', she's always rude and negative about most of the things. On the other hand my dad is not that good either. He doesnt want to support us financially, reason being:'I've too many debts' that we dont know about. He s been saying that for the past 6 years now. He never keeps his promises, there's always an excuse. My parents dont attend the same church. They are both 'Christians' but dads church celebrates Sabbath on saturday either than mum's church that celebrates Sabbath on sunday. My dad cant keep a car for at least a year. He had three cars n none of them looks as good as it used to the day he bought it. So dad drove damaged cars, embarrasing us and everyone was making fun of us. Now my mum bought a brand new car. My dad locked his damaged car in the garage, he's driving mum's car telling everyone that he bought it (he s got a lot of pride)..he doesn't even want mum to touch it. Every month money is collected from my mum's account of the car that she hardly gets in. Im so confused, always mad at myself for having such parents. Please help me.
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male
reader, Ribeye  +, writes (5 November 2012):
This is not your fault.Sounds to me like your dad is a first-class loser and your mom is greatly affected by this. Forgive them both and rise above it. Be excellent. Stop worrying about your dad. He's not going to be who you'd like him to be. He might have a change of heart later in life, but don't wait for it.Offer your mom words of encouragement. Let her know you support her. Ask her what she was like before she met your dad. Ask her if she'd like to be like that again. Let her know how her bitterness is affecting you and others and that it doesn't need to be that way. Talk about it. Figure it out together.My advice to your mom would be to leave this man. The sooner, the better.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2012): "They are both 'Christians' but dads church celebrates Sabbath on saturday either than mum's church that celebrates Sabbath on sunday."You are quite correct to put "Christians" in quotes. Neither your mother nor your father is remotely living a Christian life by any stretch of their overactive imaginations. "Im so confused, always mad at myself for having such parents. Please help me."You should be mad at your "parents" for having had such a smart and insightful kid beyond their capability to raise properly or even appreciate, so they are not worthy of the honor and privilege of your calling them "Mom" and "Dad." They have been as good "parents" to you as they have been good "Christians" in living their daily lives: NOT!I literally can't imagine being in your situation, I was blessed with fabulous parents who were Christians in every sense of the word (though they stopped going to a Catholic church when I stopped going at age fourteen, no longer any need to set a "good example") and whose positive influence remains strong and ongoing in my daily life more than twenty years after their deaths (I'm old enough to be your grandfather).All I can say is unfortunately you weren't as lucky as I, because your "parents" suck, and they suck royally; all you can do is learn by their example by doing the opposite of what they'd do or how they'd act or what they'd say in any given situation or circumstance. Best you can do is overcome the adversity of having such lousy "parents" and role models, and apply lessons NOT learned from them in your daily life now, and in your future adult life when you get married and have kids of your own (best when done in that order).Good luck and best wishes.
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