A
female
age
30-35,
*rm
writes:My I am a 19yr old girl and my parents control me the funny thing is they act as though they are not doin it.My dad alwats says that i could have a boyfriend but not right now and that i dont need a bf right now.My mom is racial and does not like indian ppl.She say nothing wrong with mixing.Then she would tell me indian ppl does only want u now wen they ready to marry they does leave u for their own kind.And if she were to do it all over again she would never marry and indian man.They dont allow me to go out and when i am on the phone my dad always ask who i am talking to.My dad is having an affair and my mom know because i told her she is doin nothing about it.She acts as though she has all this cladd but she is living a lie.My dad acts like this perfect role model but he is cheating on his wife.Whenever he give me advise i just say what a hypocrite inmy mind.I have a bf but they dont want me to be with him he is indian mixed with chinese.I am truly fed up.My conclusions for my dads behavour is that he does not me to end up with a married guy or he just wants me to his self.He keep telling me that i am a child and i am just 19 in age and even though i am 30 i will still be a child so unreasonable.He always comes by the computer and ask me what i doin he would see me watchin tv and ask what i doin i am alwaays caged up in the house.He say things like he buys pads for me what type of dad will say a thing like that.Does he control me becasue he is financilly responsible. He gets mad if someone hits on me . I am an attractive girl so what Any help would be appriciated
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female
reader, krm +, writes (1 September 2010):
krm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI use to work for the bank I will start back to work soon.Even when I was working my dad will tell me what and what not to spend my money on
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Reading this, I'm not really sure what your question is.
You are 19. Have you considered moving out of your parents home? Can you go to university, or get a job and rent a place to live with some friends? It sounds to me that's going to be a simpler solution than changing your parents behaviour
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A
female
reader, krm +, writes (27 August 2010):
krm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs anyone seeing my question on this site
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A
female
reader, kglo  +, writes (27 August 2010):
You're 19! You need to start living your own life!Sit your parents down and talk to them properly, prepare everything you want to say beforehand and make sure you make youre point clear. It has to be done now.My reason for saying this is i know a 26 year old girl, who is completely controlled by her parents she gets driven to and from work and isnt even allowed a phone or friends! Its ruining her life, but she fears she has left it to late to question them about it.Im sure you've heard the saying 'you learn from youre mistakes' well youre not making any to learn from. the only thing you can do is talk to them tell them you want to be treated like an independent WOMAN instead of a kid.As for the bf situation, i may be wrong but chances are hes scared you will end up with someone like him...a cheat.Maybe aswell it would be a good idea to talk to youre mum in private, without youre dad around. Ask her why she is staying with him. Im sure the last thing she wants if for you to grow up and think its acceptable for a man to treat you the way youre dad treats her. Mybe get a part-time job or summin? that could begin to prove youre independence.Good luck :)
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